I just got home from the Teen Vogue summit. It was amazing, I was interviewed, we spoke about girl love and just amazing things in general.
I took a couple photos for instagram with Kyle and brogan, before uploading one.
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I captioned it comedically by saying "I photoshopped my Spanx out of this picture #CaptionsThatDefeatThePurpose"
"Hey, Lilly?" A voice behind me said making me jump.
"Kyle, what's up ?" I smiled sweetly as I turned,
"1. Made you jump" he laughed "2. Me and Brogan are going now, everything okay?"
"1, shut your face" we both laughed "2. yeah everything fine, see you later" I hugged him.
"Oh, Lilly, all jokes aside, have fun with Dom tonight, you deserve it." Kyle shrugged with a smile.
——————
I thought there wasn't any point taking off my makeup and changing if dom was coming. He could be filming or be with someone.
I sat on the couch whilst I waited for Dom. My phone vibrated next to me, I looked down.
' Kyle Kuhns 💕:have you seen this ?! Yaaaaasssss 🤼♂️💋💍👅👀🔥😈😍🍑🍆💦💯💖💗💞💛🥂💑👌🏻😜🤪😘
I unlocked my phone to see the picture he had attached,
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I laughed before replying,
Lilly : What? 😂😂 and why all the emojis 😂🤦🏽♀️
Kyle: it's SO obvious that he means you're his gift...😏😏
Lilly: kyle no. Hell nah 😂
Kyle: Don't act like you don't know...🙃 -
I started to type a reply before a phonecall came through.
'Dom🕺🏽💗'
I immediately answered.
"Heyyyyy" I awkwardly answered, it's not like he would know I was literally just talking about him.
"Hey, I'm Outside,"
"Alright I'm coming down" I said, getting up off of the couch
----
"I still can't believe you actually brought cake, I was joking" I laughed, shaking my head.
"Of course, I wasn't going to eat a whole cake to myself." he shrugged.
Dom had been here for around 15 minutes. We decided to sit on the couch and share some cake, he had been really sweet.
"So it's your 32nd birthday.." I said lifting my fork to my mouth
"um 18th yep." he joked and we both laughed
"anyway, why aren't you out like getting drunk or something" I raised an eyebrow in confusion,
"I'd rather be here, birthdays are meant to be meaningful, full of things you love, people you love. A day that makes you happy. I spent all day with the boys and now I'm here, I guess it explains itself.." he shrugged "although you can pour me a drink, because it's been a long day for the boy" he laughed.
"Good answer" I said, impressed.
"Lilly, I feel like this could be the best time to be honest with you, or the worst. " He said with a deep sigh.
My heart started to beat really fast, my palms begun to sweat. My plan was to not make it obvious I was nervous. What could he possibly need to be honest with me about?
"Okay. I'm listening." I breathed, sitting up.
"Well" he begun, cupping the back of his neck with his hand.
"We have known each other for a VERY long time" he begun,
I nodded to indicate I was paying attention
"our friendship has made one of the biggest impacts on me. you've inspired me, comforted me, made me proud and I'm so thankful for it. we've been through a lot, like the time yousef and I fell out over you one time" He shook his head
"What was that even over?" I laughed
"I thought he wasn't treating you right. He was publicly pushing to date you whilst you wasn't down with it and I just thought he should've gone about the whole situation better. " He pouted.
"That's really sweet, Dom. I Never knew that." I smiled, placing a hand on my chest.
"Here's the honesty, all this time I've been forcing myself to think that we're just friends and that's all. And the first step of change is always admitting that you feel a type of way about something"
The ball finally dropped for me, I realised Dom was going to say what I never thought he would say.
" I really like you. I'm ruining myself by forcing myself to think otherwise. The only reason I've not said anything is because our friendship means everything to me. If my honesty was to ruin that.. I don't know what I'd do." He confessed, with a deep breath.
At this point, I didn't know how to feel. I related to him. All this time I'd been forcing myself to think that we're absolutely nothing but friends, when realistically I craved more. I felt heat rise to my face, sweat to my palm and tears to my eyes.
"Um... I don't know what to say" I looked up at the ceiling in my thoughts.
"If I've ruined things, just let me know and I'll go because I- "
"Dom." I interrupted him.
"I know you're going to let me down eas-" He carried on,
At that moment I decided to do the most cliche thing i've ever done.
"Shut up" I laughed, I pulled him towards me and our lips crashed together, it's a sensation I'd been longing to feel for so long,
His hand cupped my face as our kiss became passionate.
"Whoa." Dom said as we pulled apart.
"I'm honestly so sick of lying to myself too. I really like you, Dom. You've not messed anything up." I said, looking straight into his eyes.
I felt a sense of relief. Being honest with Dom was like a whole weight lifted off of my shoulders.
"Imagine kissing your crush on your birthday" Dom joked,
"Imagine kissing someone who's mouth still tastes like chocolate cake with strawberry fondant, topped with sugar paper decorations?.. Great right?" I nodded, laughing with Dom.
My thoughts were finally at rest. All this time, lying to MYSELF in my thoughts was mentally draining.
