Weaponized snack foods

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U530

Ooh! Colorful Sugar FREE gummies...

I didn't know.

And I would pay dearly for my ignorance.
I popped a few on the drive home after lunch, no big deal, pretty tasty actually. I even questioned if they were really sugar free, so sweet and delicious were they.
Looking back, I'd have much preferred the typical blood-sugar-crash-2hr-face-plant + 24-48hr hang-over that sugar consumption induces (which is no f'ing cake walk BTW), than to experience the helpless terror which followed my second or third portion of rainbow hued evil incarnate. https://vine.co/v/MnQOObMqTMh

That it is legal to sale these for human consumption boggles the mind...
__________________________
The remainder of this statement shall be a personal exercise, seeking some kind of closure after this devastatingly cathartic experience. My reflections offered now, in support of other survivors, some of whom may be perched upon the edge of porcelain &/or sanity right now, screaming out from the rubble that remains of their restroom prison cells...

"sugar free gummies + projectile diarrhea" SEARCH IT!!!

Before continuing I want to stress a few simple facts:
This is NOT your fault.
No-body asks for this.
You were physically and emotionally, perhaps even spiritually, ASSAULTED.
The scars will fade will fade in time.
You are not alone.

Although being alone seems highly preferable to having witness, especially if you have any love, respect, desire to look in the eye ever again, ever, or simply would like to spare loved ones the blow by blow of a full Haribo exorcism experience.

Should a friend/roommate &/or other find the product reviews for you , they may begin laughing so uncontrollably as to prevent any explanation for a full fifteen minutes or more, only adding to the confusion and trauma of your near death experience. It's probably not their fault either, try to remember that they too are struggling to cope with this tragedy.

Much of your experience may depend upon the current and all previous contents of your intestine, which are transformed into rapidly expanding liquid foam and enough toxic gasses to level a house. Mongolian Beef was an unfortunate precursor. I am still shaking and weak kneed, 3rd degree burns on the prolapsed portion of my former rectum. I am not sure I will ever see my husband again, he went to work like normal, but I wouldn't blame him if he vanished, nothing is sacred anymore. Cool, damp washcloths are soothing.

This is not a joke people, do NOT use these as weapons of 'ass destruction around the office. I would encourage victims of workplace violence to report such crimes to the authorities and management. Bullies depend on our own shame & humiliation to keep us silent! Someone could be seriously injured, become dehydrated, or suicidal. While I do maintain that the manufacturer bears some responsibility, the end user who intentionally poisons his peers must be held accountable for his/her actions!

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