Nothing To U. | Lil Peep

25

After a moment of silence he sighed deeply.

"Honestly Bri he isn't looking to hot, he's pretty beat up and hasn't woken up yet since he got here, he's been really unresponsive to most the things the doctors do and they haven't given us any updates whatsoever." He said and my heart immediately dropped.

"I need to see him" I whispered mostly to myself since it was barely audible, though some how he managed to hear.

"I'll send you the information okay?" He said.

I nodded even though he couldn't see, I just couldn't seem to find the words.

"Look despite what I might've said I know Gus and I know he's a fucking fighter, kids been through so much and he isn't going without a fight." He added.

"He's strong Bri, real strong" he mumbled out the last part.

"I-I know, he'll make it through this" I said mostly to myself, maybe saying it aloud will make it more believable for myself.

"I'll call you when I know more, and I'll make sure to send you the information" he said and I said my goodbye as he ended the call.

I fell back onto the couch and placed my head in my hands sobbing uncontrollably.

How could he do this? A part of me hates him so so much but this other part of me cares so fucking much about him, it's all so fucking overwhelming I just don't know what to do anymore.

All these memories flew through my mind, from him holding me to him telling me I'm beautiful then to him telling me I'm nothing. To him using me then cuddling me.

It was all so much, to much.

I often found myself breaking down over him, over how he treated me and how he hurt me so much, about how much I want him to die but now here's the irony.

I'm fucking crying because he might actually die, my heart shatters at the thought. Gus has this impact on my life that I can't even seem to understand yet, I can't tell if it's good or bad I just know he impacts it deeply and life without him seems dull.

Seems scary in all honesty.

I felt my phone vibrate and looked down seeing I had the hospital location from Smokeasac. I stood up and walked to my room hurrying to shower and get ready then grabbed my bag and ran out the door and to my car.

Once I was int he car I plugged my phone into it and set up the GPS and began speeding to the hospital not bothering to put a seatbelt on or check for cops.

Once I was at the hospital I half assed parked in the front and got out of my car, slamming the car door shut I ran inside and to the front desk.

"Gustav Åhr room please" I said and the lady slowly looked up at me through her glasses.

"Only family allowed back to him at the moment, what're you to him?" She said bluntly.

"Fiancé" I said with no hesitation.

The girl looked me up and down and smirked then proceeded to tell me his room number (dumb bitch) I ran to the elevator and up to his room.

After I figured out what room was his I bolted in breaking down at the sight.

He laid there pale looking with cuts and bruises upon his face and his arm was wrapped up. I walked closer to him studying his face.

Once I was next to him I slowly placed my hand on his face, his skin was cold to the touch but that didn't shock me, he always was cold.

I sat down in the chair next to him and let my hand hold his as I silently cried in the dimly lit hospital room.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered out knowing he couldn't hear.

"Gus you need to wake up" I said louder have the realization hit that he could be in a coma for all we know.

"Please wake up" I said again as I stood up and lightly shook his shoulder still getting no response.

"Fucking wake up!" I screamed out choking on a sob.

I started to cry harder and harder.

"Gus I know we don't get along and I know that nothing to you but to me Gus you're everything, Gus please wake up I promise to work on this I promise to make you feel better to make you feel, and if that's not what you want then I'll do anything! Please just please wake up I can't do this without you" I cried out but he just laid there.

"You can't fucking do this! You can't fucking come into my life and make a fucking impact on me then leave! You can't get in my head and my heart just to fucking leave!" I screamed again crying even harder if that was possible.

I fell to the floor and placed my arms on the bed then my head on top of them so I was now buried in my arms crying dramatically as his might as well be lifeless body laid next to me.

I continue to cry for what felt like forever till a soft gentle hand was placed on my head and softly playing with my tangled hair.

I have this thing for cliffhangers I guess ;) show some love ❤️