A Beautiful Mess

Chapter 21

Josh D’costa stood right in front of me. As I mentioned he looked shabby and scruffy in his jacket, overgrown hair and light beard.
“Oh my god, Josh,” I said and walked towards him.
“Yes, Venky, who else?” He grinned wider.
In no time he wrapped his arm around me and we hugged. For a fairly long time. “Look at you, Venky, you look...umm...cute in your bunny suit!”
I rolled my eyes, “I wish I could say that for you bumpkin.”
He laughed.
“So where you heading to?” He asked.
“Umm lunch; do you umm want to join?” I asked awkwardly.
“Ofcourse, I was hoping I'd bump Venky,” He winked.
“Let's go then,”
He walked besides me and we went to a small diner for lunch.
******
“Hey Kalsi, you'll have the regular?” Nora the diner waitress asked with a smile.
“Yes, thank you,” I said.
“What about your cute friend here?” She asked.
He laughed, “What do you think would taste delicious Nora?” He drawled in a flirty manner.
“Let me surprise you, sweets,” she said and walked away.
He looked at him and I made a face witnessing that exchange.
“What?” He asked.
“Nothing,” I replied.
“What happened to you? D’costa? What's with the hippie look?” I asked.
“Oh God, would you let that go, not everyone wants to look like an Economic honors weirdo,” he chimed.
“Shut up,” I said narrowing my eyes.
“Anyway, I’m assisting this photographer and we're doing an article about famous cities for MyLife magazine and hence I’m here,” he explained.
“Oh hence, "the look"! “ I did the air quotes.
“Yes,” he said.
“Now please will you let it go? Already,” he sounded annoyed.
“Okay, it's just weird seeing you like this, anyway no more talks about your bumpkin look,” I teased.
“Here's your salad, and drink Kalsi,” Nora arrived with a tray full of food.
“And you my dear boy, try on this hamburger, it's cheesy and delicious,” she said in a husky voice.
“Looks yummy,” Josh played along.
“Oh you haven't even tasted it,” she said licking her lips.
‘Gross,’ I thought.
“Okay, thanks Nora,” I said trying to drive her away.
“Anytime darling,” she said and winked at Nora.
I dug into my food without saying anything.
“So tell me Kalsi, what's going on with you?” He asked with a mouthful.
“Ah nothing much, studies work that's pretty much it,” I said shrugging my shoulders.
“Ahunh? No clubs or committees you leading?” He mocked.
I struck out my tongue.
“And you're twenty two? Acting like a child and dressed like a bunny,” he said.
“So are you seeing someone?” He asked directly.
I choked on my drink, and coughed.
“You alright?” He asked passing on napkins.
“Yes,” I said dabbing my mouth.
My phone rang and Josh snatched it from the table.
“It says, BB,” Josh said smirking.
“Give me my phone D’costa,”I flanked my hand forward trying to reach his hand, I yelled.
“It's not funny, give it to me,” I said.
He pressed the receive button and flashed the phone in front of me.
“Hello, Baby,” I could hear Brandon talking on the phone.
“Baby,” Josh mouthed.
“Hello,” Josh answered.
After a pause he said, “Yes I’m with Kalsi.”
“Okay BB listen, we're a little busy right now, and she’ll call you later okay?” He said.
I finally grabbed my phone from his hand.
“Hi baby,” I said.
“That was a stupid friend of mine, yes just a friend... I’m at Andy's B,” I said.
“Listen bye, you can interrogate me later,” and with that I hung up.
“Why are you suck a jerk, Josh?” I yelled.
“God, calm down Dude, it was just a joke,” he said like he hadn't just caused a rift between Brandon and me.
“Whatever”, I said not looking at me.
“Hey, I’m sorry okay,” He said.
“I've got a paper to submit tomorrow so I'll see you later if you're town?” I said and stood up with my belongings.
“Actually I’m leaving tonight,” he said.
“You are?” And it came a little more sadly than I meant it to.
“Yes, so please can you be a sport and forgive me,” He asked.
“Fine,” I said and sat down.
“How about you give me a tour, around London?” He asked.
“Around here, I mean LSE I can,” I said.
“Where would you like to see?” I asked.
“Galleries, museum?” He said.
“Ahunh? You want to go to a museum?” I mocked him
“Yes, Boss's orders,” he said.
“Okay, let's go then,” I said and once again I got up.
We walked towards the Tate Modern side by side.
“So Brandon?” He asked again.
“Yes, we've been dating for 5 months now, he's studying law at Oxford, nice guy but really busy, is that enough or you want me to elaborate more?” I asked.
“Thank God, you aren't serious,” he said
“Excuse me, what makes you say that?” I asked annoyed by how sure he was of himself.
“Nothing,” he smirked.
“Get lost,” I asked.
“I’m pretty much single these days,” he said.
“Really? Okay,” I said like that didn't just do weird things in my tummy.
“Okay so here we are, you do whatever you're supposed to do here, I'll be here completing my assignment,” I said sitting on the floor in some random lobby.
“Uh Okay,”

 After an hour he was back and we went to some other museum and two galleries and then to Trafalgar square.
“This place is something Haan,” he exclaimed clicking pictures frantically.
I sat on a bench looking at his childish frenzy.
I re read my paper for corrections.
“Venky, look up” and click he clicked my picture.
“Honestly, stop doing that Josh,” I said.
“But it's weird we've together all day and do not have a single picture together, so look up,” he said.
And I did, he sat beside me and we clicked selfies together making typical weird faces.
“Are you done with your paper?” He asked.
“Umm, yes almost,” I said nodding.
“So let’s grab dinner? Or is it too early?” He asked looking at his watch.
“Coz I have to check in at 10,” he finished.
“Oh now's good, let's go,” I said. I felt a slight pang in my heart maybe coz this day was to end and he would leave once again.
We went to a restaurant nearby and ordered a simple dinner.
“Mail me the pictures please,” I said.
“Yeah sure, give me your id and contact no” he said passing me his phone.
I punched in my id and returned the phone.
“No contact no?” He asked
“I might want to call you sometimes,” he said.
“Let's be honest you won't and thus no promises and commitments,” I said.
“Right,” he affirmed, “you know everything don't you Kalsi?” He said with a fake smile.
We ate in silence, when he decided to speak again.
“M sorry, for not being there when Gam was sick,” he said out of nowhere.
“Josh, its fine,” I said.
“No Kalsi, I mean it, I wish I were there, Gam had absolutely no-one and,” he said.
“She had me, she was never alone,” I said suddenly feeling angry and annoyed.
“Honestly Josh, save it, we never expected anything from you, so let's just drop this topic, I snapped.
He looked like I had slapped him right across his face but he hid his emotion and said, “You don't know what I've been through Kalsi, so please don't judge me.”
We finished eating and I looked at my watch, “we better leave it'll take atleast an hour if we take a train to Heathrow.”
“Yeah, I'll manage, don't bother yourself,” he said it right on my face.
Ouch!
“M coming so let's walk,” I said and moved ahead.
Again the ride to Heathrow was in complete silence, He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't.
We stood at the airport entrance; we still had a little time it seemed.

“My father's an asshole, Mom doesn't care and Cheryl...she...she struggled with drugs and I had to be there I had to for her, and I knew as long as you were here Gam would be fine, I’ sorry I should have been there but I wasn't but it hasn't been easy for me as well Kalsi, you've got to u…understand that,” he finished.
My boy, my sweet vulnerable boy.!

He looked like he was on the verge of breaking down, but Ofcourse he wouldn't.
I was such an ass to him, I should have known, he was better than what I thought of him.

“I’m sorry Josh,” I said and wrapped my arms around him.
“Its okay,” he said and hugged me tighter.
We just stood there for a long time, I could hear his heart beat and that was calming enough.
When finally I let go, he leaned forward, I kept my hand on his chest and stopped him. 
“No Josh, let's not ruin this,” I said.
“Kalsi, for how long are we going to deny that there is something between us, something beyond our control,” he asked.
“I know Josh, but now's not the time to dig in deeper,” I said with a heavy heart.
He smiled a sad smile and kissed me on my forehead.
“Goodbye, venky,” he said.
“Goodbye D’costa,” I replied with a forced smile when all I wanted was to hug him tighter and never let him go.

I smiled my last goodbye to the man, I loved the most and left my heart at the airport, he was gone and once again I felt empty.