A Beautiful Mess

Chapter 28

We stayed over at my old apartment. We were moving to Canada where Josh was staying at present. Packing is what we did after getting married. I still couldn't believe that I was Mrs. Josh D’costa, not that he helped. We were still two strangers who have known each other for a long long time now. On our first night together he insisted on using Dad's room or sleeping on the couch. 

“Josh, it's fine, we can sleep on the same bed, I don't mind and it’s practical,” I said.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Ofcourse! Let’s not make a big deal out of it,” I said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, and you might need me during the course of night,” he said braggingly.

“Yeah that is never going to happen Josh, I’m still capable of doing things on my own,” I said.

“And I’m only 6 weeks up,” I added defending myself.

“Okay, Kals, relax, we've been married for not even a day and we're arguing already,” he said.

“We've argued all our lives D’costa,” I said and flopped on my pillow.

“Fair point, well made, Mrs. D’costa,” he teased.

And slided next to me.

“Good night,” he said.

“Good night,” I replied.

Only if I could sleep, withdrawals were still persistent, therapy was definitely helping but I just couldn't sleep.

My hands started shivering and I started to sweat profusely.

Josh was already asleep.

Thank God, he didn't have to see me in this pathetic condition of mine.

I grabbed a glass of water from the side table but knocked it off because of my insanity.

“What, what happened?” he got up all at once and switched on the lights.

“Nothing,” I said. 

“Go back to sleep, and kill the light,” I said.

“Are you alright, you're sweating and…” he took my shivering hand in his, “what's happening Kals?” he asked in a panic strung voice. He looked terrified.

I snatched away my hand and switched off the lights, “goddamn it! Nothing’s wrong, will you just go back to sleep,” I yelled.

“No, answer me is this because of those pills you've been taking for years?” He yelled back. He was now red with anger and frustration.

I didn’t respond, actually I was too ashamed to say a yes.

“Answer me,” he said a loud voice.

“Yes, but I promise Josh, I've stopped taking then from the day I knew about jujubee.” I begged. 

“Shhh,” he said wiping my tears, “I trust you Kalsi, I do, now come lie down,” he said and helped me.

He switched off the lights and pulled a blanket over me. He lied besides me and kissed my forehead.

“Try getting some sleep now,” he murmured in my ears. I was embarrassed and guilt stricken. I couldn't face him so I moved away and slept facing the wall.

He threw his arm around my midriff and pulled me closer. We were actually snuggling without even realizing that we were.

I felt a sense of comfort and warmth which I've always felt around him. Soon my eyelids began to droop and I dozed off to sleep in his arms. Eventually the shivering stopped and we were in a cozy place.