Do You Love Me?| Yoonminseok: Book 1

chapter 3

I woke up to the site of Hoseok with his head tilted back softly snoring. He must have fallen asleep not long after I did. One of his arms were wrapped around my waist and the other was still tangled in my hair. I closed my eyes once again and just listened to his heartbeat. I let my mind wander, I try picturing what life would be like if I was with him.

I could see waking up like this every morning, going out for coffee and holding hands, feeling him kiss me. I kinda want to try that, I wonder if his lips are as soft as they look? He actually looks gorgeous, his small smile on his lips as he sleeps. I consider testing my theory, should I kiss him? Am I still in love with Hoseok? Could I be with him in that way? Could he ever see me that way? Would he freak out if I kissed him? I start moving my face closer to his. I have to try, I just have to. I need to know for certain.

"Yoongi?" his eyes are open and he's looking at me with concerned eyes. But all I can think about is how amazing his voice sounds right after waking up. Rough and deeper than the normal sweet sound. "Yoongi what are you thinking about you look like you just seen a ghost" he leans closer to me moving his hand to the side of my face. I want to lean in so bad.

My brain finally catches up with reality and all I can do is blush and stutter something about feeling sad.

I almost kissed Hoseok. Gods I still wanted to. Desperately

I was sick to fall for him, I was sick to fall for Jimin. They could never love me. I'm a freak, how could I have thought that was a good idea. I end up just letting my head fall on his shoulder, knowing that he doesn't know about this, and he is still happy to hold me when I'm not feeling well. I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist and Hoseok's voice telling me it will be okay. Whispering that it'll be alright as if he knew what I was thinking. Yet somehow it is enough to make me feel safe. I sit there letting him hold me. Thinking how good his arms feel around me. I wish I could stop.

He takes my face into his hands making me look into his eyes. "What happened? Are you okay?" I don't answer I just stare at him, he looks so sad. I didn't mean to make him worry. "Yoongi you need to talk to me, are you okay? Come on answer me?"

"I'm ...I'm sorry... I don't know what happened... I just... I just started thinking about ki...About something and I freaked... I freaked out ...because you ...startled me... I guess... I don't feel okay." I doubt he will leave it at that. He never lets me leave it as that. Always taking care of me, he's always so caring and sweet. Why did I have to fall for him? Why did it have to be him of all people?

He brings me back to reality once again by running his hand across my cheek. Had I been crying? I didn't notice until now.

"Yoongi whatever it is you can talk to me, you know that, right? I'm always going to be there for you Yoongi. I love you.....you're my best friend." and there is the heart-shattering truth. All I will ever be to him is his best friend. He will never see me as more. And for a split second, I had hoped (A/N J HOPE) that I could have a chance. That he meant to love. But he would never love me. Not like that. Never like that... It would not be right. How could literal sunshine fall for someone as sad and worthless as me? I'm not good enough to feel this way about him. Just like I'm not good enough for Jimin.

I'm worthless.

"Yoongi just answer me. I need to know if you're okay."

"I'm fine just a little shaken up. I'll be fine... I promise...." He just wraps his arms around me again holding me tight. As I close my eyes and bury my head in his shoulder and try to go back to sleep. I feel his lips brush my head as he holds me tighter.