bookworm // wolfstar au

s i x

"you know, you're an absolute dork," remus tells sirius as he finishes off his mug of butterbeer. he wipes the foam off his upper lip with the sleeve of his shirt.

"oh, yeah, i know. james and peter tell me all the time," sirius responds with a fond eye roll. "i think you like it, though."

remus stares at sirius, wide-eyed. "what makes you say that?"

"well, you're here, aren't you?" sirius replies, cocky smirk and all. remus hates that little smirk, hates how it makes him feel. he's not sure if he wants to kiss or punch it off sirius' face, and is surprised at himself for feeling that way.

"like i said, you're a dork," is how remus decides to respond. sirius decides he likes that answer, and he gestures for remus to follow him outside, grinning in a way that terrifies him a bit.

the walk back to hogwarts is surprisingly comfortable, though remus isn't sure why that surprises him. all the time he's spent with sirius has been comfortable in this same way; every time he expects something to make him uncomfortable or shy, it doesn't. something about sirius eases that fear in remus, makes it easier for him.

"...so, you know, peter obviously doesn't know what to do. i mean, would you know what to do if you saw your two dorm mates naked in the room?"

remus laughs so hard he snorts. "what did he say!?"

"he just slowly shut the door as he left," sirius laughs. god, remus likes how sirius laughs, and then he realizes there is absolutely nothing about this boy he doesn't like. it terrifies him. his gaze goes so soft and fond that it surprises sirius into temporary silence. "why are you looking at me like that?"

remus looks away, cheeks flushing deeply. "sorry."

"you're blushing now," sirius observes. remus can hear that dumb smirk again. "what is it?"

remus just shakes his head, cheeks flushing further, and somehow, sirius understands this is something remus isn't willing to share. he stops pushing, just smiling down at remus. they near the castle now, and remus lets out a heavy sigh as they make their way inside. a group of people make their way down the hall in the opposite direction, forcing remus and sirius to awkwardly smush together. remus lets out a nervous laugh and steps back once the group passes, and they keep walking, but now their hands brush against each other.

"where are you headed?" sirius asks quietly.

"the library," remus says back, confused as to why he asks. sirius nods and starts leading the way to the library. at some point during this conversation, their hands ended up linked, fingers interlaced. everything about this is nice, remus decides. even the way the boy holds hands is nice, and remus' heart lets out a tiny flutter in his chest.

"here we are," sirius says as they reach the library doors.

"here we are," remus echoes, nervously running his free hand through his hair.

"so," sirius says, and suddenly that damn smirk is back. "how are you feeling about being kissed?"

"here?" remus squeaks, embarrassed.

"yeah, here," sirius laughs. that laugh again, damn it. remus curses it in his head.

"...you never answered why you said green!" remus suddenly blurts, reaching for a distraction.

sirius shakes his head fondly. "i'll tell you once you decide if you wanna be kissed or not."

remus swallows nervously. he can feel sirius' gaze all over his skin. "i suppose..." he pauses. "i suppose a kiss would be okay."

"well, i don't want you to suppose," sirius says back, a smile in his voice. "i want a clear and obvious yes. consensual kissing, you know."

remus is smiling now, too. "alright, then. yes, sirius black, dork that you are, you can kiss me." somehow, braver than he's ever been, remus manages to look sirius in the eye as he says this. lucky that he does, too, because he gets to see the absolute delight spread across sirius' face. it might be the loveliest thing remus has ever seen.

remus should be embarrassed, honestly, embarrassed that sirius gently shifts him so that he's against the wall, mostly out of sight by anyone walking down the hall. one hand touches remus' cheek, and sirius quietly asks if it's okay if he touches remus' waist before doing so to pull him closer. remus can feel sirius' breathing against his neck, and he fights the urge to shiver.

"by the way," sirius whispers before closing the gap between their lips. "i said green because your eyes are green. my absolute favorite color, favorite shade. i see it everywhere. i think i could live in it now."

- - -

"so? how did it go?" james asks, literally waiting at the door for sirius' return.

sirius dramatically falls onto james' bed, landing mostly on top of peter. "i'm in love!"

"we know that," peter huffs, shoving sirius off of him so he can lay comfortably in the bed. "tell us how it went!"

"i kissed him," sirius sighs, lovesick. "god, i can't believe i kissed him! and he went all soft, like i kissed his soul right out of him. i don't think i'll ever stop thinking about it!" he lets out another dreamy sigh. "he totally checked out my ass, by the way," sirius adds to james.

"hell yeah! i told you those jeans make your ass look good," james says proudly.

"you were right," sirius laughs. then he sighs again. "i told him my favorite color was green."

"...why?" peter asks, confused. "i mean, is it?"

"yeah, peter, it's green because remus' eyes are green. keep up," james says, shaking his head. "you told him that?"

"yeah, right before i kissed him." sirius sits up. "it was like...i don't know. he was so close, his eyelashes were brushing his cheek...i had to be honest with him. he's like some kind of drug, you guys." sirius draws his knees to his chest and actually lets out a little squeal. "i'm in love!"

"you're so weird," peter laughs, getting up from the bed.

sirius immediately spreads out once peter has moved. "i want to kiss him again. i think i have to, actually. i might die if i don't."

"if that doesn't kill you, one of us will," james laughs. "good lord, sirius. i've never seen you like this."

"i'm in love!" sirius insists. "i swear! it's never been like this before!"

"it sure hasn't," james laughs. but then his gaze goes soft. "i'm glad," he says gently, affectionately patting his best friend's knee. it's a relief for him to see sirius so happy, especially with everything he has going on at home. if anyone deserves to be in love, it's sirius.