Come Back Home (RM Fanfic)

Chapter 40

BTS- Jump

When I woke up I could tell by the sterile smell that I was in the hospital. The bed was hard and the material clothing me was like paper. I felt a warmth on my hands and stinging wrists. The lights where bright and I had to squint. I moved my head to see a rather exhausted and sleeping Yoongi next to the bed. I also noticed other people in the room.

Tae slept in a chair next to the door. Jin and Jimin supported each other in their sleep. While Jungkook laid on the small couch in the room. I realized Namjoon was missing from the group but so was J-hope. I hoped they stepped out together. My movements must have stirred Yoongi from his sleep because he groaned a little and his dark eyes snapped open, meeting my own eyes.

He looked so haggard, but to be honest they all didn't look too great. I started crying realizing it was my fault they were in this condition. My sudden loud cries woke up everyone in the room instantly. Lots of noise filled my room as chaos erupted. Jin had Taehyung run to get a nurse and Yoongi being the nearest to me when my tears came made room in the bed next to me. He held me close as I cried my heart out.

Jin made comforting noises trying to soothe me while Jungkook watched with a sad look on his face. "I'm so sorry". I sobbed into the pale rappers' arms. Tears quickly soaking through the material of his shirt. "It's not your fault, we're sorry. We should have been there for you". Yoongi said softly as he held me tighter to him.

"I just kept thinking everything would be better if I was out of the picture. You guys would be able to go through your life like normal without me holding you back. Maybe if I didn't come that John guy wouldn't be here. I kept wondering If Namjoon actually loved me. He's been so distant, we don't talk much, and he sits as far from me as possible". I told them my voice thick with tears and my throat aching.

"It's so cold being at his side now, before I felt warm and content". I tore myself from Yoongi's arms. "WHY IS HE TREATING ME LIKE THIS? WHY IS HE MAKING ME SUFFER"? I yelled making the boys wince at my sudden outburst. "I gave him my heart and bared my soul to him, to you guys".

"I told you guys about my past and you all promised that you cared. Namjoon lied though, he doesn't care". I finished in a soft voice my body feeling weak and my heart pounding in my chest. I collapsed against Yoongi. For a second, I could hear people screaming my name and then nothing. When I woke up I was alone.

The only sound was the beeping of the machines in the room. Seeing no sign of life, I started to panic, and my thoughts began to race. My weary body tensed, and something felt off. Suddenly someone walked into my room, not just someone John. He was dressed as a doctor but the smile on his face was one of evil, one of pure madness. I wanted to yell but my voice failed, and he laughed as he walked closer.

I tried to run but my body wouldn't listen. All I could do was watch in horror when he took a scalpel out of his pocket. "I'm a little upset that you ruined the pretty skin of yours before I got the chance to do so. Never the less I'll carve your skin anyways. Watch you scream as the blood in your body rushes out like a river. No one can save you".

"Look around there is no escape", and then he lunged. I woke up screaming from the top of my lungs. Arms quickly grasped me, and I tried to break their hold all I could think was it had to be John and I had to escape. "Shh it's just me Noona, it's just me, I won't hurt you". That voice was familiar and instantly I stopped fighting. "K... Kookie" I whimpered and looked at him.

His beautiful brown eyes were wide and full of worry and his lips were parted slightly. "John got me, he was going to kill me Kookie. He was going to make me suffer". I told the younger and buried myself in his arms much like I did with Yoongi before. I felt my body shaking and he held me tight. "He won't get you, I promise Cutie Pie, I promise."

I hung on to his every word like my life depended on it all I could do was trust him. He was warm and familiar, like reading a book while curled under blankets. So, I believed him without a doubt in my mind. After a bit, I calmed down and just snuggled into him contently. "Kookie, when can I go home"? I asked him softly. "They want you to stay in the hospital for a bit, to get some help".

I was expecting his answer, after all, I did just try to commit suicide. Later on, the doctors gave me the green light and Bangtan (Minus a certain someone) said their goodbyes before I was escorted to the mental ward. "Take care you guys, don't worry about me, okay I'm getting help so you guys can just focus on being BTS". Everyone's eyes were shining with unshed tears. Besides Hobi, his tears freely cascaded down his face.

"I love you guys, just remember that". I told them and quickly hugged them, giving each male a kiss on the cheek. With a watery smile and a final wave, my escorts (a police officer/ guard and a nurse tech) led me to the locked unit. The unit wasn't anything new to me. Been there done that a number of times. What was hard was not seeing the Boys or my family.

They took me to a room to do my registration. Which ended up taking a few hours since all my medical records needed to be transferred. Afterwards, I was shown around the unit and to my room. Surprisingly It was only a single bedroom. Most of the time there was two beds per a room. While I was up here there would be doctor visits, medication adjustments, and therapy, groups.

Not to mention doing a whole lot of nothing. Everything on the unit was locked up. Which meant couldn't play a game, do a puzzle or color unless a nurse or tech helped. You were constantly watched even in your room. There were a camera and rounds every ten minutes. Meals came at the same time every day, but you got plastic silverware, minus a knife.

There was no music unless it was on the TV and you couldn't go outside to get fresh air. The windows were bare, and all the walls were white. The beds were bolted to the floor and the mattresses were hard. Sometimes your fellow "Inmates" as I like to call us. Were more dangerous than others. I kept to myself, most of the time which gave me a lot of time to think.

I thought about what was left of mine and Namjoon's relationship. My relationships with the rest of BTS. I thought about my mom and sisters. I thought about my dad even. Being alone with your thoughts aren't always a good thing especially when you're not in the right mindset. After a couple days I wasn't suicidal anymore.

I was just sad, depressed and empty. I felt like there was a hole in my chest right where my heart was supposed to be. Thinking about Namjoon hurt like hell, so I tried to not think of him. Sometimes it seemed, I was a glutton for punishment because he would be the only one filling my thoughts at random times. I waited for every day for phone calls. Even though I know it would most likely not happen because I knew boys were busy after all.

I told them to not worry about me, but I still wanted to hear someone's voice on the other line. Yoongi, Jin, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, Kookie, any of them. There was also that small part of me that still held tightly to the scraps my relationship with Namjoon.

A/N: *Nervously laughs* Ummm, so this got angsty... like wowzers. I even surprised myself and sorry if it's all over the place *Looks from side to side while tugging at my shirt collar*. Anyways hope you guys enjoy this chapter!