Come Back Home (RM Fanfic)

Chapter 48

BTS- Tear

Namjoon looked uncomfortable when he showed up. Even so, my breath still caught. I still loved the man despite how things went. I smiled at him putting the book down that I was reading. "Cupcake!" I greeted happily as I got out of my bed to walk over to him. He looked at me with surprise as I hugged him.

He hesitantly hugged me back. I made a sound of contentment. Namjoon was warm and I breathed in his scent that I loved and missed. It was bliss being held again even though it was just a friendly hug. He placed his head on top of mine and drew me closer. Maybe he missed me as much as I missed him after all?

I scolded myself for the thought. No need to go get my hopes up like that. When lifted his head I knew the hug was coming to an and. Sadly I let my arms slide down to my sides and stepped away. "I'm glad you decided to visit after all. Despite the fact, I originally forbid you from doing so".

"I'm sorry about that by the way. I just needed some time, it's been rough". Abruptly he pulled me into his embrace again, stunned I stopped talking. "I'm glad you okay. I don't know what I would have done if you had been killed. You have no idea how much I hate myself right now", he softly told me.

I moved my head to look at him. "It isn't your fault Namjoon. John was sick, there wasn't anything you could have done to stop him. He's dead but that was the only way he was going to stop, Joonie". "When I saw that note he wrote to you and the blood on the floor I was so angry but scared. I panicked and called your phone over and over, but you never answered. "I called the rest of Bangtan and we searched everywhere for you".

"After 24 hours we called the police and filed a missing person report. Your mom and sister looked for you too. We all were scared and cried. We prayed you were still alive, but John's words make us think the worst. All I could think was how much I wronged you. The fact the last words we exchanged were of heartbreak echoed in my mind".

"You told me you still loved me but ended it between us and I never said a word. I didn't want that to be the final words between us. When you were found I was so relieved. We all rushed to see you. When we saw you, so beat up and bruised, it was like a nightmare". I reached up to wipe the tears from his face, my heart breaking once again.

"It's okay Joonie, I'm okay. I have to tell you that I'm going to be leaving South Korea for a while. I'm going to do some traveling. The fact I almost died has made me realized how short life is". I wasn't going to tell him about the kids. He didn't need that with BTS's worldwide popularity.

"Don't leave, please. I know I hurt you but please don't just leave us." He begged, and I shook my head. "I'm not leaving completely. You all have my number. I'll send postcards, letters and video chat to the seven of you".

"Just think of it as a long vacation. It's not fair for you to have been able to go to all these places and not me", I joked. "You can travel with Bangtan when we have time off." He argued trying to get me to stay. "Namjoon, I can't always rely on you guys it's not fair. You have more important things to worry about".

"I have to prove to myself that I can do this". I walked away from him to sit on the bed again. I looked back up at him, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. "Once I'm out I'm giving going straight to big hit to give PD-nim my resignation letter. I'm going to go out on a new adventure. You can't talk me out of it".

"The others tried to talk me out of it too. I'm pretty sure you noticed the others returned home upset yesterday. No one is happy, but this is something I have to do for me, Namjoon. I love you guys and I'll miss you all. You all have a special spot in my heart". Namjoon didn't stick around long after I finished telling him what I planned to do.

I cried even though I knew it was for the best. I had to let my first love go. He was on a beautiful path of life and I refused to cut his nor the rest of Bangtan's success short. The question was when should I tell him? After I leave? A year later? Five years? Never? I quickly dismissed the last one.

Namjoon deserved to know someday. Our children deserved to know their dad. I refused to keep them away without him even deciding what he wanted. I didn't want to take that choice from the three of them. Let fate make the decision. There was no way to escape our fate after all.

When I was released two days later. I did just what I told Namjoon I would do. Big hit was my first stop and i beaded there as soon as I got discharged. The CEO did so much for me, but I NEEDED this change. He told me he was sad to see me go and told me when I come back he would have a spot for me. He also told me if I need anything just let him know.

I ended my dance studio membership and made my way to the bank to withdraw my savings. I was stunned when I was handed more money then what I had saved up. "This can't be right," I told the bank teller and had her double check. "It's right, multiple deposits had been made within the last 5 days or so". I stood stunned for a little while and took a shaky breath and bid the teller goodbye.

I wanted to laugh but cry, those brats. Those beautiful, amazing and hardworking, brats. They knew how much I hated using others money but did it anyway. When I made it to our building, I just walked in like I always did. Determined to make them take the money back. "We aren't going to take the money back no matter how much you beg, yell or cry to us about it", Yoongi said as I walked in. They were all gathered in the living room, clearly waiting for me. I opened my mouth to protest but I was instantly stopped. "Please just take it, It's the least we can do for you", Jin pleaded. "We wanted to do this for you. We know how much you hate spending our money" Hoseok added.

"But this is something we insist on." I sighed knowing I couldn't win, and cheers went around. "When are you leaving for your flight?" Namjoon asked, "Tonight at 8." Tae, Hobi, and Kookie cheered and everyone else smiled. "We get to spend the rest of the day with you then", Jimin commented happily and I nodded

Later that night all seven of them came with me to the airport, refusing to let me go alone. The atmosphere was heavy with sadness and dread. Everyone was somber, but we stayed close. I was passed around to all the members. All of them taking turns to hold my hand or kept me close with their arms around my shoulders. When my flight was announced, the tears I had been fighting off fell rapidly, and I knew I wasn't the only one.

With a final goodbye and a hug and kiss from each member I turned my back to them and refused to look back. It was better this way.

Namjoon P.O.V

I watched her walk out of my life, just standing there too weak to call out. Too heartbroken and too pissed at myself for hurting her so badly that she left me. I wanted to run after her, and beg for her forgiveness. She was my life and now she was gone. Perhaps this is better for the two of us. Perhaps the parting of ways was out fate after all.
Yet, I still wish for her to be back in my arms. My final thoughts as she disappeared, Please come back home, please come back to me. I love you still and I'll never stop.