seekr ( ✓ )

chapter forty-one

harry didn't understand why, all of a sudden, draco malfoy had decided to stop answering his messages. he pondered if the blond were still upset regarding what he'd overheard harry say to ron, but figured that wasn't such a big deal. he'd apologized for that; he thought they were okay again.

in the courtyard, leaves began to fall and dust the stone paths. students wore warmer clothes, though they still embraced the chilly autumn weather by sitting outside between classes to study and talk with their friends. harry sat on a far wall, done with classes for the day. he kicked his feet against some loose stones, watching as they rolled away, and barely noticed the feet approaching him. when a shadow covered him, he glanced up to find luna lovegood staring at him.

"hi harry!" she smiled, and then jumped up along the low wall beside him.

"'ello, luna." he hadn't really talked to her all term, so by her approaching him, he felt awkward beside the ravenclaw. she tilted her head from side to side, leaning back and embracing the rays from the sun – though they provided minimal heat.

"it's crazy how a bit of technology can take away the intimacy in conversation." she spoke sadly. glancing around the courtyard, harry took notice of the way people were no longer socializing with each other, but had their faces in their phones: doing merlin knows what.

"you're not on the app, are you luna?" he asked, as he could never remember seeing her name. she shook her head.

"i don't even have a phone, harry." she giggled. "i don't like technology, so having a phone would be pointless."

"but what about communicating with friends?"

"i do that in person. anything i have to say can be said to their face, not through a glowing screen." she explained.

"that makes sense," he sighed, pulling out his own phone and sliding it from hand to hand halfheartedly. "sometimes, i feel like it'd be better if i didn't have a phone."

"i can understand that, harry. i know they're supposed to be some big advancement to the muggle and wizarding world, but i'm a skeptical person. the thought of having a device that could be so easily monitored by unknown forces just – it's not something i like."

"you think we're being spied on?"

"you never know," she kicked her feet. "i mean, it's common knowledge that a person's never truly alone, isn't it? whether it's believing in some higher power, or whatever else, we're not alone. having electronics makes it easier."

harry glanced down at his phone nervously. he slid it back into his pocket, turning to face luna more. she pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, and in that moment she reminded him so much of draco: his skepticism, and yet she was nothing like him, because luna was a trusting person and harry knew the slytherin as someone who'd grown to trust no-one. but they were both so incredibly smart, and she proved to have such wonderful insight when not discussing mythical creatures. he saw why she was a ravenclaw.

"and what's your opinion on the app, then? seekr." he asked.

"people have been developing relationships with each other for years, and yet such a big deal's been made about some glorified matchmaker. the app is little more than that twelve-year-old girl we all know that sits around pairing people together, and questioning the 'what ifs' of their imaginary relationship." luna claimed, and suddenly harry felt very silly.

he used to be the boy who developed a childish crush on cho chang and ginny: the one who kissed a girl and ran away blushing. now, he wouldn't even think for himself regarding his future endeavors. it was all a machine.

"honestly luna, you're so right."

"but, seeing as i know you've got the app, i won't say anymore on it. i know you're stressed over some match you've made; your emotion is written all over your face. who is it?"

and honestly, harry hadn't even told ron or hermione, but luna was different. everyone loved her: spite her oddities and quirks, and you could trust her with anything. so, he found himself pouring his heart out to her.

"for years, malfoy and i were enemies. we couldn't be in the same room without some snarky comment being said, but suddenly, i got the app, and we matched together. and we started to talk, and i realized he wasn't such a bad guy," he began. "but still, i couldn't understand why the app had matched me with a boy. i've never dated a boy before: never even pondered if i liked boys, but suddenly he's flirting, and i'm taking him on dates, and we're holding hands, and i just – he hasn't talked to me in over a week, and i'm terrified that i've done something wrong because this is the first person i've really connected with in years."

"have you considered that maybe he's busy? midterms are coming, and knowing him, he's probably crazy busy with studying." she queried, and he shook his head.

"it's not like that. in class, he won't even look at me: won't acknowledge my existence. at meals, he's moved to sit with his back facing me so i can't see his face, and yet zabini is sending me dirty looks and i just – i've done something wrong." the green-eyed wizard was beyond frustrated now, but he didn't really know what to make of his frustration.

"hum, this is a tough one, harry. perhaps he's more invested in your relationship than you are, and therefore he's distancing himself in fear of getting hurt."

"but i wouldn't hurt him, luna. i have no desire to hurt him. listen, i haven't figured myself out, but i know i like spending time with him, and i know i get flustered when he starts getting all bold, because i'm the gryffindor. i'm the one that's supposed to be initiating these things, and yet i let him do all the work. i don't know if i'm into guys, but i do know i like him; and i hate this silence we've fallen into."

"then tell him that." the blonde girl smiled, taking his hand in a friendly gesture. "be brave, harry."

be brave.