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i thought i was supposed

to be better.

that i would choke down happiness

and feel whole again.

instead, my leaves are dying

and i can feel my bones

slowly turning to stone

while i dance along the outline

of an empty pill bottle

that filled me with nothing.

nothing but the desire to

bury myself underneath everything i have to do

and just sleep.

sleep until i'm torn away

and forced toward everywhere i'm supposed to go.

but i don't even know if that will be enough.

the pills weren't;

why should this be?

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