ALONE✅

3

I slowly opened my  eyes trying to adjust to the brightness of the room .

Where am I? what am I doing in a hospital? What happened?

Different thoughts swirl around in my head that it was difficult to find my own voice.

For a minute, things were blank until it all came down. Everything rushed in, the hospital, the cries, the wails, the death.

I thrashed against the bed not really knowing what else to do. Violence and agony at that time seemed like the only option.

"Calm down young lady" A man said calmly walking into the room and smiling at me. Easy for him to say, it isn't his mother that is claimed to be dead.

I narrowed my eyes at him

" You are the same person who lied that my mom is dead right? You lied didn't you? Tell them you lied? Tell them
She's alive and you were just lying. Say it! I shouted to the point of a scratchy throat.

He stepped back and then went out before coming back again but this time with my father and aunt behind him

"Baba" I called out to my dad and he walked and hugged me briefly

"Baba, is it true? Is...she dead" I asked in a strangled voice.

"Princess" He started sitting next to me
"You have to believe in qadr(destiny) and remember every soul shall taste death.
Mama doesn't need your tears, she only need your prayers. Just know that she has always, always loved you"

"Okay" I uttered gently feeling completely and utterly helpless and trying to lock out the voice that is screaming now what? What's next? What will happen? What does the future holds for us?

Instead I kept quiet. I didn't cry or shout and neither am I at peace. My heart was simply numb as I sat still letting every emotion roll off my back and not really feeling it.

"when are we going home? I managed to ask which came out as a whisper

" Now actually, we were waiting  for you to regain consciousness. I will be outside Firdausi you should come out with yusrah" My dad said turning to my aunt.

She nodded "Of course"

"Get ready" he said turning to me and forcing a smile and even when I tried to return one, I couldn't. My father is a strong man and although l want to be strong for us, I can feel every bit of strength slipping away from me. Still, I reached out and squeezed his hands in assurance and with one last look he went out.

"Baby girl let's change you from this hospital cloth" My aunt spoke in a weak voice coming to stand next to the bed.

I nodded and stood up.

After I was done changing, I performed ablution and observed my prayers together with those I missed. My heart aches badly as I silently let out my tears during the sujood.

When I was done, I stood up to leave the room and aunt came in with sandwich and tea.

"Breakfast? She asked looking to the tray in her hands.

I shook my head " No" my voice sounds so croaky.

She grabbed a water bottle and handed it to me "Water?

I took the bottle and finished it in one gulp realizing how dry my throat was and how thirsty I've been.

My last food or liquid was yesterday's breakfast. I didn't eat lunch at school because I was in a hurry to come home and meet my mother.