ALONE✅

5

Three years later

My mind was cramped again. I knew I wasn't paying attention but doesn't know what I'm thinking. Might be the several thoughts of the day Mama died or the thousand ways I could have prevented it. My head was slowly becoming the only place I was accustomed to. It wasn't nice, all the guilty self destructive words. But at least it felt familiar, at least it didn't change.

"Yusrah" Minal called softly

I turned to her snapping out of my thought "Yes"

"let's go? She said in a questioning tone.

I quickly looked around the class and it was empty except for the two of us.

"Let's go" I replied standing up and walking out of the class.

"Yusrah" Minal called out again as we are walking out of the school premises

"Hmm" I answered not really paying attention to her.

"It's been three years" She said in a tone that she thinks is supposed to explain everything

I stopped then turned to her raising a brow "okay?

She dry laughed "What happened to you?

I looked taken aback and glared at her "Excuse me"

"Why are you acting..." She paused "Like this" She motioned her hands up and down

I pressed my lip in a tight line and kept quiet for a few seconds then spoke "Please elaborate your choice of words Minal"

She sighed "This isn't my best friend. Over the years I've watched you change. You've created a shell and retreated into it"

"I've lost a mother Minal" I harshly said

"You're not the first Yusrah" She replied in the same tone then looked apologetic and walked cautiously to me. Almost like she wants to pacify a wounded animal.

"Look, I'm sorry" She touched my arm "I miss our shopping days, sleep over, days we spend talking about unnecessary stuffs or eating unhealthy things. I miss them. Now all you do is come to school and leave immediately, you don't come over and even when I do, we don't do anything but mindlessly watch the TV"

I kept quiet and absorbed her words in. Is this how I've become? Distant? Did the overthinking of what would happen now that my mom is dead retreating me into a shell even when it's been three years and nothing bad happened?

Do I know all of this and still decide on doing nothing against it? Yes.

I turned to her "I'm sorry. It's very hard for me Minal but I'll try" I wanted to add more, maybe explain how I don't know what happened or why I am distant. But there was absolutely no reason to lie about it.

She held out a pinky finger, as childish as it will seem and said "pinky promise"

I locked pinky fingers with her and smiled "pinky promise"

She smiled back and together we walked out of the school.

I got back home and took a quick shower changed into something comfortable and started drifting off to sleep when a maid knocked on the door and came in.

"Madame" she called out to me in the process ending my sleep

I raised my head and regarded her "What?

"Sir asked me to call you"

I nodded and waved her off then reluctantly walked to the closet to get a scarf. After securing it on my head, I walked to my father's side.