Superstar (R) - Kang Daniel

6 - Social Media

After the show ended, I quickly went to the backstage to help Carrie.

"I'm hereeeeeee!" I said.

Then she asked if I was okay while turning me around to check my body. I didn't want her to worry, and I wasn't hurt or anything, so I smiled and I told her that I had a great time and how great the boys performed excitedly.

Until I saw her and everyone around me looking at me the way the boys did, worried and disappointed. I was so sad. I just wanted to share how happy I was because I didn't want her to worry. But why was everyone looking at me that way? I felt like I did a serious crime.

"Why do you guys keep looking at me like that? What did I do wrong? I didn't push anyone. I swear! In fact, none of the people around me was pushing anyone. All we did was keeping ourselves together, and save each other. All I ever wanted was to enjoy the show and watch the guys perform. If that's what I do wrong, then I'm guilty as charged!" I said before I left.

My heart was broken. I had never felt so embarrassed in my entire life. And what did I feel embarrass for? What did I do wrong?

I went outside and waited for Jolie that hadn't came out from the venue. We were in a separate section, she got the right standing section, I got the left one. When I saw her, she was dragging her feet looking so lifeless. Then she ran to hug me once she saw me.

She was a cheerful and strong build person, but she seemed so tired and was having trouble in catching her breath. I was so worried. Then she started ranting about her experiences. Apparently hers was much worse than mine.

When we got home, I searched for Wanna One's photos from the fan meeting. Instead of the boys' photos, I saw some pictures of the whole standing section and it was really packed. There were a lot of people. No wonder everyone that I saw was suffering to keep their stance.

People were fighting about the whole fan meeting thing. Some people were blaming the promoter for selling tickets beyond capacity. Some people were blaming people who came from another countries saying that we made their country looked bad in front of Wanna One.

I didn't realize that I was crying until the girls told me. I felt so sad remembering how we, who were there, were so solid like soldiers, protecting and taking care of each other, but some people in the social media were just so busy to find who to blame. Wanna One must be really devastated if they knew we were tearing each other apart like that.

I was really, really, really sorry that the fan meeting had to went down that way in that country. And because it's not my home country, it meant that I also contributed for adding one more person to the crowd. I felt really bad.

However, when we were in the venue, battling with we didn't know who, none of the people around me asked anyone where do they came from. We were all united regardless of who we are and where we came from. We were too busy keeping each other safe. So why did some people wanted to tear those precious bonds apart?

I didn't know who's actually causing all of the mess, but did blaming the whole country worth it? Did blaming another countries worth it? We all purchased the ticket fair and square, we bought it with our own money, we didn't cheat or stole anyone's money. We all came there for Wanna One. We're all wannables.

And for the promoter, I also personally think that all of the mess wouldn't happen if it's not because of overcapacity. But other than that, they treated us well and fair. Every staff that I saw was busy running around supplying us with water bottle, keeping us safe, and busting their ass to help us, even with the one who fought back, they still treated them well.

Did all of these battles necessary? Should we tear that powerful bond of wannables just because we wanna know who to blame? And if we found the one to blame, what would came out of that? How would that benefit us? When in the process we would end up tearing apart our bond.

As if it's like not enough for us who're struggling on the scene. Why did some people had to keep reminding us of the horrible part? When I myself, and I believe most people who were there, also wanted to keep that experience as a very precious and beautiful memory.

I was so thankful to that country because when I was there, I got to meet the boys in person, had a great time watching them performed, and realize that I'm a bloody lucky girl. But should I just let all of those beautiful memories vanished into a thin air, because of what happened?

Then I also read that Daniel posted on fancafe that it hurts him to see wannables hurt. I love him for being so sweet, but suddenly I remembered how he and the other members were looking at us who were there. I was never felt so dissapointed in myself. But from doing what exactly? I didn't know. Maybe everything that I did since the very beginning was wrong.