Human (Toothless x Hiccup/httyd)

Chapter 13

Fanfiction writer: I'm sorry for not updating for a month. I'll try to do better, I promise.
Fanfiction writer: *doesn't upload for 5 months*

I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person, I know. I won't try to make excuses just here's the chapter. I hope you enjoy and still remember what's going on.

Summary:
Astrid = assturd
Toothless = happyless
Hiccup = Hi my girlfriends a bitch and my best friend is in love with me but I don't know that because I'm about as oblivious as a sack of potatoes, ooo hey look a pretty butterfly.

Hiccup's pov
It's been a month since the incident with Toothless kissing Astrid and things have really changed. I've been living with her and things have been going great. We've barely fought and she is easy to get along with. She never raises her voice or makes stupid arguments.

She's been a great girlfriend to me and hasn't done anything to make me think otherwise. She's fun to be around and never causes any problems. She's also beautiful. I mean, what else could you want? She even wrote me a poem. How cute is that?

If things go on like this we could have something great. I can picture us getting married, having children, growing old together. I can't see any way for this to go wrong. We are the ideal couple. Relationships don't get much better than this. This is what I've always wanted. Everything is 100% perfect. Any man in my situation would be extremely happy. Then why aren't I?

I'm constantly trying to convince myself that I'm happy and I'm feeling uneasy because I'm scared of messing this up. This is my first serious relationship. I'm just nervous about the commitment. That's all it is. Right? That's the source of these feelings of unsettledness and unease that arise from my stomach every time I kiss her.

I've thought of so many different reasons for why I feel like somethings wrong but no matter how many times I try to convince myself that I'm happy, it just never works. These feelings just refuse to leave me alone or to just let me be happy.

Something is missing but I just don't know what. At the same time, I really miss Toothless. The owner of the inn has been letting him stay for free because I'm the chief of the village. He barely ever comes to visit us and when he does, it's for a very short amount of time. It was really weird to go from being with him 24/7 to seeing him once every couple weeks. I honestly really hate it.

In the short time that we've been apart, our relationship has changed drastically. Now when I see him it's awkward and Toothless seems so distant. I feel as if I've lost my best friend. We can't laugh and be silly like we used to. I want things to go back to the way they were. Back before Astrid moved in. But is that what I really want? I would miss Astrid if she were to go away, or at least I think I would.

I thought all I needed in life was Astrid but no matter what I do I can't stop thinking about Toothless. Now that he's gone, my mind always wanders to him. What he's doing, how he's been, or just how much I want to see him. Even when I'm having alone time with Astrid, all that fills my mind is him. But that's normal, right? Everyone feels that way about their best friend. Especially if you haven't seen them in a while. It's normal. Perfectly normal.

I'm laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling while all these things are going through my mind. Astrid is out with stormfly so I'm home alone with nothing to do. I decide that now would be a good time to visit Toothless for a bit so I get out of bed and make my way towards the inn.

Toothless pov
"Hah", I sigh and turn over in my bed. This isn't good. This isn't me. I've been laying in this bed for probably a week now. Only getting up to go to the bathroom and occasionally eat. I'm losing a lot of weight from malnutrition and muscle loss. I was used to working out by flying Hiccup around but Hiccup doesn't need that anymore.

Since I can't reliably change into a dragon, Hiccup has been using another dragon to get around. Ha, it's so ironic. Who would of thought that my one true desire, would be the thing to break our relationship. But now, the one thing I thought I'd always have has been taken away from me. I thought even if I couldn't be anything else, I'd always be Hiccups dragon but hiccup can't even ride me now.
(Me: this is supposed to be sad and shit
Also me: let's make an innuendo at the worst possible time)

It's all because of my stupid feelings that got me into all of this. When I was a dragon, Astrid had no idea about my feelings because I was, you know, a dragon. I could still be smiling alongside him, even if he thought I was a mindless dragon.

I want to go back to before I was human. Even the pain of him not loving me is better than the pain of not being beside him. But either way, it's a lose-lose situation. No matter what I do I can never be truly happy. Even now that Hiccup and I barely talk, Astrid hasn't let up at all. About every other day she comes here to beat the shit out of me for nothing. I do nothing now. I don't go to see Hiccup anymore but she still comes to see me.

I don't see the point anymore. Of her coming. Of me staying here. Hiccup was my only reason to get up every day and now that he's been taken away from me, there is no point. I never felt like this as a dragon. Sometimes, I'd feel lonely, but never to this extent. I guess having a human body comes with having stronger human emotions. This is one of those "careful what you wish for" situations. Did I have this coming to me because I wanted to be human?

I turn around on my bed to look at the ceiling. My lip quivers as I try to keep the liquid pooling at the sides of my eyes from running down my face. It doesn't help though because a few tears still escape to slide down and into my hair as I let out a quiet whimper. I hear a knock at my door and my heart rate immediately escalates. Oh god, it's Astrid.

I wipe the wetness from my face and try to calm myself down. The last thing I want is for her to see is me crying. I walk to the door and prepare myself for the beating, as best I could. I grip the door handle and pull, ready to see Astrid's malicious grin but instead, I'm greeted with a smiling Hiccup.

"Hi, Toothless!" He says happily.

"Oh, hello," I say surprised that it wasn't Astrid. After Hiccup really takes in the state I'm in his smile falls and I can see that he knows somethings up. I'm usually pretty good at not letting the pain show but today I was off my game. I wasn't expecting to see him.

"Here, come in," I say, forcing myself to smile but the uneasy look on Hiccups face doesn't change. He follows me into the room and looks me up and down, probably noticing the weight loss, bags under my eyes, and the fact that I look dead.

"You've been acting really weird lately, Toothless, and you really don't look so good. Is everything ok?" He looks up at me with his big green eyes, full of worry and care. It kills me.

"I'm fine," I say back to Hiccup, trying to play it off but I sound so unconvincing that I wouldn't believe it if I were the one hearing it.

"You really don't look fine, are you su-" Hiccup starts and reaches his hand towards me. I flinch away, knowing Astrid wouldn't like me touching Hiccup. He tries placing his hand on my shoulder but suddenly a flashback of the last time Astrid found out Hiccup touched me flows through my brain and it's almost as if I can feel the kick to my ribcage. I instinctively slap his hand away.

"I'm fine!" I yell directly after slapping him away, startling Hiccup and making him flinch back. I can see the hurt and sadness on his face and it makes me want to cry that I'm the one that's causing it. I don't want to lie to him. I want to tell him I'm not ok but if I do that then he'll ask why and I can't tell him that. So instead of telling him the truth, I turn away.

"Sorry, I'll just go I guess." He says then turns and starts to walk away. I reach out to stop him but a cold wall stops me. The wall that is slowly forming between me and Hiccup. Even though it is not physically real I can still feel how freezing cold it is when I press my fingers against it. It sucks the heat out of me, my fire, my will to try.

At this point, I don't try to resist. I lean my forehead against the wall while watching Hiccups back as he walks away and I let the wall absorb everything out of me until all that's left of me is a cold, hopeless, defeated mess. After hearing the click of the door closing, all I can do is fall to my knees and cry.

Author note:
Soon my children, soon.

I actually had this chapter done like 3 weeks ago but I was scared to upload it because I'd been gone so long lol. Thanks for reading and maybe the next chapter will come out faster but I'm not going to promise anything because I'm a piece of poop.