Inside My Head

Chapter 2

Saying goodbye would be the only hard part in this. We've been friends ever since and when Shawn and I became official, it made my heart swell. I can't just leave them. I needed to see them all one last time before I moved.

To: My Best Friends💙
Jackie: Guys I need to see u all asap
Shawn: whatever u need babe😘
Jackie: Tims in 5?
Ethan: 👍
Grayson: ^
Shawn: ^^I have some news too😄

I took my car keys and left. I figured I could finish packing when I got back. When I got there I almost couldn't get out of the car. As much as I hate living with my mom, I care about them way too much. The weight in my chest kept me there until I heard a knock on my window. It was Shawn. I got out of the car and took his hand.

Shawn: Hey there beautiful what's up? You looked kinda spaced out.
Jackie: Nothing. You'll find out soon enough. It's why I texted y'all to come here.
Shawn: Mmk.

The way Shawn kissed me is like he knew it'd be our last in a very long time. We went and got a spot on the outdoor patio and while we waited for the boys, I laid my head on his shoulder. It felt nice in this moment and I never wanted to leave the safety of Shawn.

Ethan and Grayson walked up to us with water guns in their hands. Before Shawn could notice, they started squirting us. This is what I will miss the most, I thought in the moment. It's the little everyday things they do that make me laugh.

Jackie+Shawn: Ahhh!
Jackie: No stop! Haha my mascara isn't supposed to start running for another few minutes!
Shawn: What do you mean? Do you already know? Did Geoff tell you?
Jackie: What are you talking about? Geoff hasn't told me anything... was he supposed to?
Shawn: No he wasn't supposed to tell you anything. I was gonna tell you on my own time, but then you called this meeting so I guess I have to tell y'all now.

We were all hanging on his every word. None of this made sense. Shawn grabbed my hand and squeezed it and I couldn't tell if he was reassuring me for what he was going to say, or if he needed it for himself.

Shawn: My managers think it's a good idea to go and write an album... but they want me to go to L.A. to do it. I agreed.

By then Shawn looked like he was going to start crying but I was so relieved. I wasn't going to lose him after all..... but wait he didn't know that!

Jackie: Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. Oh my God. Let me tell you what I have to say first. I'm moving to L.A. too.
Shawn: ...really?

Shawn looked up at me and even though I wanted to be so very happy that Shawn was coming with me, I couldn't shake how the twins looked. They looked like someone had tied them to that chair and abused them. I couldn't take it. I started crying.

Shawn: Hey hey, it's going to be ok love.

Shawn started rubbing my back. I couldn't look at them. I kept crying.

Ethan: Why though? Why are you going to L.A.?

I tried really hard to stop crying so I could answer his question. I didn't want to sound like a baby, but it was hard to leave your best friends.

Jackie: Olivia and Will Quaine adopted me.

They sat there in shock. They all knew about my parents and how getting away was something I've always wanted.

Grayson: I feel so selfish.
Ethan: Same here. I want you to stay because we won't have any friends, but on the other hand, I want you to go. You can't just turn away from this.
Grayson: When are you leaving?

Shoot.

Jackie: Tonight.

Tears started streaming down my face. I was not going to start really crying again. Shawn took my face in his hands and wiped the tears off my face.

Shawn: I don't leave for 2 more weeks. Gray, E, you should talk to your parents about online schooling for your last two years since Jackie and I won't be there. You guys are my best friends too and I can't just leave you guys to get bullied. I'll come back in September to finish my last year.

My heart sank. He wasn't going to be in L.A. forever. I don't know why I thought that though. Of course he's only staying to make an album. He can't just be a high school drop out.

Ethan: Yeah that's a good idea. I really don't know what I would've done with either of you. Having no friends sucked. And um, the good thing about the internet is that we will still be able to talk everyday.
Jackie: Yea... it's hard though. Now y'all will know how it feels for Hope and I.

I hadn't told Hope yet. Oh my God. Big mistake.

Ethan: Well then, guess we will just have to spend your last day having a blast!

Ethan and Grayson shared a look, then got up and started towards Gray's car.

Grayson: We'll text you the address!

Shawn and I sat there for a second. Then he said something he hadn't said before to me:

Shawn: I love you
Jackie: I love you too

We stood up and he wrapped his arms around me. "It's going to be ok" he said as he buried his face into my hair.