Inside My Head

Chapter 3

Shawn is driving my car to the location that the twins had texted us to go to. He walked to Tims because his house is near there. We had no idea where we were going, but it was half an hour from where we were. I figure now was as good a time as ever to text Hope and tell her the news.

To: hopeeeeee💞💞
Jackie: Hope don't call or FaceTime me because I'm in the car with Shawn but I have to tell u something
Hope: ok but I'm not promising I won't freak out and call you later 🤷🏽‍♀️😉
Jackie: I'm moving
Hope: TO CONNECTICUT?!
Jackie: no😭 to L.A.
Hope: what?
Hope: why?
Hope: why not here?
Hope: Jackie
Hope: Jackie
Hope: Jackie
Hope: Jackie
Jackie: look it wasn't my choice. Olivia and Will Quaine adopted me
Hope: ...sry I dropped MY FUCKING PHONE. WHAT NOW?!
Jackie: 😂 ur so dramatic
Hope: I'm calling you when your at home. You have to explain EVERYTHING.
Jackie: ok ok. And btw Shawn's coming too.
Hope: UMMMMMM EXPLAINNNNNN
Jackie: lol it's cuz his managers are getting him to record his first album in L.A. He's not leaving at the same time and he's not staying😢
Hope: awww J Im sorry but at least u have more time to say goodbye
Jackie: true. I gtg we almost at the place
Hope: bye❤️
Jackie: ❤️❤️❤️

Shawn turns onto the next street, and suddenly I know exactly where we are going.

Jackie: We are going trampolining.
Shawn: I should've known haha.

We spend the next hour forgetting about everything and just having fun. When our time is up, we head outside. It's getting cold even though it's the end of June.

Grayson: Why don't you come back to our house for a second and we can have some cake before you leave.
Jackie: Alright.
Shawn: Actually, I can't. Jackie is it ok if I meet you at your place later? I'll bring Aaliyah because I know she'll want to say goodbye. You're her best friend.
Jackie: Yea sure.

I toss Shawn my keys back so he can drop the car off at my place and walk the rest of the way home. When we get inside Gray's car, it feels like there's some sort of cloud looming over us.

We arrive at their house and as soon as I walk in I dart to the kitchen eager to see the cake. It's absolutely massive.

Jackie: You got this from Bake Sale?! Oh my God you guys really do know me.
Ethan: Read the cake.
Jackie: To The Totally Awesomer Best Friend. AWWWWW guys!
Grayson: We will never forget you. We will talk to you every single day and make sure Shawn stays yours if you know what I mean. I swear we couldn't ask for better friend.

I walk over and hug Grayson.

Jackie: Don't stress Grayson. Of course you will still be my best friend.

By now I'm crying.

Ethan: Hey what about me!!!

I laugh through the tears. I walk over and hug Ethan too.

Jackie: You're also my best friend.
Ethan: I think I'll keep hugging you that way you miss your flight.

We all laugh at that. We cut the cake and just talk for a while. Saying goodbye to them for a long time, is the hardest thing I've done. And now I have to leave. I have to go and say goodbye to Shawn and his sister.

----////----////----////----////----

My walk home was depressing. I felt so alone. What was I going to do when I actually got to L.A.? Where was I going to dance? I got out my phone and texted the group chat.

To: first group in lyrical💜
Jackie: I'm leaving for L.A tonight. Will miss you all and will explain when I'm on the plane.
Gabriella: WHAT!! Ur jokinggggggg
Jackie: no😭
Melanie: wtf?
Kelly: ^

I reached my door and noticed that my moms car was gone but the lights were on. I opened the door to see Shawn and Aaliyah on the couch. Aaliyah ran over to me and tackled me in a hug.

Aaliyah: Don't leave me!
Jackie: Hey hey, don't worry I'll still be around and I'll tutor you over the phone if you need.
Aaliyah: I know it won't be the same though. I'm not 6 anymore.

She was right. I'd seen her grow up before my eyes. Aaliyah was 12 now and I couldn't believe how much of an impact I'd had on this kid's life. Shawn looked up at me from the couch and saw that his sister still had her arms around me.

Shawn: Aaliyah how about you give Jackie her gift now.
Aaliyah: Oh yea!

I mouthed "gift?" to Shawn. He just smirked back at me. They both went into the kitchen and brought back a bag each. I sat down on the couch. I opened Aaliyah's first. Inside was a friendship bracelet attached to a card. The bracelet said my name on it.

Aaliyah: I made it myself as soon as I found out you were leaving. I have an identical one.
Jackie: Aww thank you hun! I love it.

I slipped the bracelet on and got up to hug Aaliyah. I really did love this kid.

Jackie: I will always be here for you.
Aaliyah: I know.

Shawn smiled as if his whole heart was completely full in that moment. I sat back down and opened Shawn's gift. Inside was a little tiny box. I knew exactly what was inside.

Jackie: You didn't.
Shawn: If you open it then you'll find out.

I opened the box and inside was the crown ring from Pandora that I wanted. I just kinda sat there with my jaw dropped.

Shawn: See I pay attention.
Jackie: ye-yea you sure as hell do. Ohhhhh myyyyy God it's even more stunning in person.
Shawn: Aaliyah go into the kitchen for a second I wanna talk to Jackie.

Aaliyah left and started rummaging through my kitchen. I looked at Shawn and he had tears in his eyes. I kissed them off his cheeks.

Jackie: Thank you so much. I love it. I love you.
Shawn: I love you too but I'm just scared of what will happen in the next two weeks and what will happen after I finish recording and leave L.A.
Jackie: So am I.

Shawn kissed me desperately. He knew it was the one of the last times he could for two weeks.

---///---///---///---///---

They left, and I lost it. I fell to my knees and cried on the marble floor. I felt my phone buzzing. It was Hope. She always had the best timing. I clicked the answer button.

Hope: WHATS UP JA- woah woah woah. DONT CRY DONT CRY. Shit shit shit.
Jackie: Shawn and Aaliyah just left.
Hope: Ok so what you're going to do is go upstairs, and don't fake it because I can see the background of your house so I'll know you're not walking up stairs. Go into your room and you will pack while you tell me EVERYTHING.

I did what she said. I was so lucky to have someone who knows how to put me back together.

I spent the next hour telling Hope what happened. By the time we ended the call it was 6 pm. My flight leaves at 8. I headed towards my car and put my luggage in the trunk. My mom would pick my car up from the airport after I left. Leaving her was the easy part. Leaving behind my life was hard.