Close | Han Jisung

Chapter 15: Older

When Kai's mother has arrived, the group is still immersed in the movie they are watching. Everyone in the room felt the awkward and slightly tense atmosphere surrounding them. That's why they decided to get going. Before leaving, they politely introduce themselves to her mom. Krystal, Kai's mother, momentarily stares at Jisung upon hearing his full name, and then she asks him a question, and through his answer, her suspicion was confirmed.

Kai walks them to the gate and bids them goodbye. She is about to return inside but unable to do so due to her mother blocking the doorway.

"Do you know what kind of person you brought home?" Krystal asked, frowning.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Kai asked, confused.

"I know it's great that you don't remember anything but of all people. Why him?"

Kai gets a bit annoyed at how her mom is currently behaving, "Mom, I don't understand what you're saying, but you just got here, and now you're picking a fight."

There's a pained expression on her mother's face before she starts speaking again, "Well, I think it's time for you to know about what really happened to your father."

Kai clenches her fists. Now I understand why she's acting this way. She recognized Jisung. She sees him as the son of the man who put her husband and daughter in danger and caused the death of her partner.

"There's no need for you to fill me in. I know very well what happened because I witnessed his very last moments with my own two eyes," Kai said while staring at her with glossy eyes, "He died saving me."

Krystal feels like the air is being sucked out of her lungs, "Kai, w-when, why didn't you tell me?"

Kai couldn't help but scoff at her question, "Remember the day I told you that I was having a hard time? You dismissed it and told me that I shouldn't be so selfish and that I shouldn't think I'm the only one who's hurting. That's when I held myself back from opening up to anyone. All I wanted was your attention and love, but you made me feel like I aa m burden, that I am nothing but a reminder of a painful past. I wanted to rely on you because you are my mother, and you are what I needed that time, but you made me endure those hard times alone. You don't know how scared I was when all the memories about that incident ten years ago came back. You weren't there to comfort me and to reassure me that none of it was my fault. You probably thought that you're the only one suffering because I don't remember anything. However, you're mistaken. You're not the only one. I, Jisung, Younghyun, and his father were in pain too, and we still do. However, unlike you, Jisung and Younghyun were there for me, and they're really kind to me, so you have the right to perceive them in that way," Kai said with a trembling voice.

Kai is trying her best to fight off the tears forming in her eyes.

Her mother is frozen to her spot. It really breaks her heart to see her one and only child broken and hurt, but she clearly knows that she's the one to blame for that. She lets her daughter's words sink in before speaking, "I know everything I will say from now on will only sound like an excuse, but I'm really sorry for being bad a mother. Losing your father was so painful for me, I couldn't handle the grief well, and I suffered from depression. Your uncle was the only one who patiently helps me to be okay again. I'm really sorry, and we drifted apart because I hid these things from you. I felt ashamed and guilty; that's why I forced myself to be distant towards you, I thought that would hurt you less, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for being ignorant and for lacking in so many ways as your mother. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me," Krystal said while crying on her knees.

Kai's vision starts to blur, so she finally lets the tears fall, "You could've just told me. Even though they are painful and hard to take, I would try my best to understand and accept them because you're my mother, and I love you so much. I should've been there for you too."