These Lights

Thirteen: Are we Still Pretending?

Sleeping was rough, everything was rough, I That night, did not want to exist.

I just couldn't sleep, not with all the thoughts swarming about my head, most of them about a volcanic haired someone just in the other room.

A crush, a huge crush I might add, on what had to be the most out of my league person to ever exist.

Wealthy, Handsome, Kind. I had it so bad that I started blushing just thinking about him.

Was I still pretending to have feelings for him?

No. I wasn't, but he doesn't know that nor will he ever, I just had to hold out, it would go away, it always had before.

But still it nagged at the back of my mind like that annoying in-law nobody likes.

What if it didn't? What if it never went away? What would I do? I certainly couldn't tell him. Would I just live watching him fall in love with others while I stood in the background?

No. It would go away. I couldn't rush this, it would go away.

I sat up, there was no way I could sleep like this, I sighed, and heard a peculiar noise coming from Aaron's room.

It sounded like he couldn't sleep either, I heard pacing. He was trying to be quiet but it was obvious something was bothering him.

If I started to get up he would probably hear me, so I tried to be as still as possible and listened very closely.

"Do I tell her? I trust her. But, she might freak out." I hear very little, but enough to make me extremely curious.

"No. She'll definitely freak out." Being as quiet as possible, I slip off the couch and creep up slowly to his door.

"She might not. Maybe if I... No... that's a bad Idea." What was he talking about? It sounded almost like he was going to confess to someone.

And because as far as I knew, I was the only girl he knew, so my heart fluttered around against my wishes.

"Maybe I should wait... she has a lot of stress already..." whatever it was it was definitely tearing him up inside.

"But it'll be so much worse if she finds out on her own...." Find out what? Was he hiding something from me?

Leaning closer to the door I slipped and face-planted  into it, thinking quickly, I pretended to be asleep.

He opened his door and looked down at me, I know because I could feel his eyes trained on me.

"Aph?" He said in a whisper, and crouching down to see if I was awake.

"How the hell?" I felt myself being picked up, and instead of being brought back to the couch, he took me inside his bedroom and locked his door.

I had never been inside his room before, he had never let me. So I opened my eyes just a little to see my surroundings.

A gaming chair and computer sat on a black desk, his bed covered in a comforter the same color, and his walls were painted a dark crimson.

It was almost the exact same as the dream I had had over a month ago now, but I still kept myself limp so he wouldn't suspect anything.

He laid me on his bed and I quickly re-sealed my eyes, conditioning my breathing to be slower.

"Do you sleepwalk?" He whispered to himself, confused, I felt his hand lay on my heart and I tried very hard not to jump.

"You seem fine." I felt his hand move to my forehead and move some strands of hair out of my face, I wanted to blush but I forced it down.