Yuri on Ice Oneshots

I'm Insecure, Okay?

Yuuri and Phichit lay on the couch, cuddling, not saying a word. They were mad at each other. They were craving attention, love, and affection. Yuuri felt so alone. He wanted to speak but the atmosphere was so tense between them. Even the hamsters in the room felt it. They kept quiet and just stratched the scratchings scattered in their cage. Yuuri was full of doubt. If he spoke, would Phichit get mad? He was afraid that he had done something really bad to upset the cheery Phichit. Phichit just laid there, looking through his social media. Well... here goes nothing...

"..Phichit?"

"What?"

Yuuri shut his eyes nervously. Yup. Phichit was definitely mad. It was complicated to say anything when Phichit was mad. His positive attitude would just be dropped and he'll be quiet. It was scary. At least to Yuuri, that is.

"...Are you mad at me?"

"No." Phichit continued scrolling through instagram.

...That didn't sound convincing.

"Phichit... please tell me if you're mad. I can't do anything if you don't tell me why you're mad."

"..I'll just be criticizing so it doesn't matter."

"Phichit, please.. I want to understand."

"...You'll get angry."

"I won't. So please, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. Just tired."

Yuuri paused. He didn't understand why Phichit was acting so complicated. It was the first time in their 7 month relationship that Phichit was this upset. He was always so affectionate and loving to Yuuri. He seemed so happy and enjoyed every moment when they were together so what happened?

"..Phichit, don't lie to me. I want to know why."

"If you're going to keep bothering me," he let go of Yuuri, turned off his phone and got up off the couch, "then I'll be going to the bedroom."

'Why can't you just tell me what's wrong...' Yuuri thought as he sat up.

"Don't go!" Yuuri paused, "..Please... I want to talk to you. I don't want you to be hurt."

Phichit stopped. He let out a sigh and sat back down onto the couch. Hesitantly, Yuuri grabbed Phichit's hand. Yuuri opened his mouth but no words came out. What was to be said? Yuuri had no clue what was wrong or what was going through Phichit's mind. Yuuri had lost his train of thought. His face flared with heat. He was so ashamed. God, why couldn't he speak? Why wasn't he able to do anything?

"I--don't, sorry, uhm, are you--"

Yuuri choked and swallowed hard. He had nothing to say. Nothing would come out of his mouth anyway. Phichit was losing his patience. The two shared a brief moment of silence. Yuuri took in a deep breath, apologizing once again.

"..I'm sorry. I was... nervous."

"..Why are you nervous? I'm your boyfriend. You--" Phichit shut his mouth and his eyes darted away to the wooden coffee table that sat before them.

"......Are you unhappy with me?"

"It's not that. It's just.... you're so... ignorant."

"Wha--"

"But it's not your fault." Phichit grabbed the side of his white t-shirt and clutched it, "I've just hidden my emotions and problems from you so well."

"Problems? Phichit, please, you... need to tell me when you have any problems. Or else... I can't help you."

"Yeah... I know. I just... hesitated, you know? You... have problems of your own. I don't want to be another problem for you."

"Phichit, if anyone's a problem, it's me," Yuuri stopped to laugh, tears forming in his eyes, "After all, I'm a huge problem. But you're helping me get past my insecurities and flaws. You're giving me the love I... desperately needed. And... if I'm not providing that love back... I'd feel horrible."

Phichit covered his mouth, preventing himself from choking up. Tears did not swell in his eyes, but that only made his heart clench more.

"It wouldn't matter..."

"It does matter! You're my boyfriend! I'm supposed to help stabilize our relationship but I can't stabilize our relationship if you won't speak." Yuuri exclaimed.

"...Do you really love me?"

"Of course, I do. Even with the distance we're creating I still do."

"...Do you trust me? Completely?"

"I.. do."

"Yuuri... why don't you trust me?"

"It's... not just that. I just that... trusting someone entirely is hard. And... I just really feel... intimidated by you."

"Intiminated? Why?"

"You're just so happy and perfect... inspiring and intelligent.... you're so outgoing, talkative, and a very relatable person. Just... why can't I be like you...?"

"...Yuuri. It is truly up to you if you want to be like me but I don't think you should be like me. You are your own individual and that means you have your own personality and ways of communication. You don't need to be me to be happy..."

"I just... you're just so perfect..."

Phichit gave a sympathetic sigh.

"Yuuri... thank you for the compliment but you should know I'm not perfect. I don't take care of myself, and I usually need you to care when I feel unsteady or sick. Whenever I'm talking with people, I sometimes get nervous and anxious. To bare through that, I dig my nails into my skin to which I'm sure you never notice. So, Yuuri... I'm not as perfect as you expected."

"You're perfect in my eyes, Phichit. You're a perfect human being. You make mistakes but you don't hold them against you for years on end. You can easily talk to people and like them for their personality. Just... why are you so different from me when we both are human beings... that have the same body parts, have the same eyes to see with, the same--"

"I'm going to have to interrupt you, but we dont have the same eyes, hands, hearts, minds, etc. We may possess the same body parts but we do not have the same experiences with our body, mind; soul because we dont have the same mind or experiences. We are two very different human beings, Yuuri." Phichit wiped his nose. "I'm not perfect."
~~~
Author here! Sorry, I'm just gonna publish some random chapters I have here. I lost inspiration to finish them uwu

Lots of drama happened to me !! ;-;

And I've kinda lost my inspirational touch

So bye bye for now babes!