In Her Mind

Blood to Ashes .2.

I reached my home , a small secluded underground bunker . I remember when I discovered it . At least it was something I could remember .

It was with my bestfriend , the only boy that ever accepted me for who I am , also the last person I expected to turn on me .

My face turned bitter . It was when we were freshman in highschool .
We had a double math period that we decided to skip , so we went out to the woods . We were just gonna stay at the tree line till school was out but he wanted to venture further . So I followed him , I didn't want to get left behind . We trekked into the woods .
After a little while we reached an open field filled with the most beautiful flowers . I marveled at them . And then he pluck the prettiest flowers , tied them together and gave them to me . That was the first time I realized I loved him . And I could see in his eyes that he realized he did too .

He was never a fan of serious moments so he jokingly said "Marry me Rose ." Deep down I already knew that he would be the one that I'd marry . I smiled , took his hand , and then we danced . In that field .

It was a moment I wanted to last . With his arms around my waist , mine around his neck , our bodies close together , and our eyes and lips inches apart .

It was the perfect moment for him to kiss me . I wish he did . But our perfect moment was ruined when he tripped over something , taking me down with him .

That's when we found out that , that something was the door to an underground bunker .

Again , we did the reckless thing and we opened it up , and went in . It was clear to see that it was abandoned .

"Rose , I..." he whispered softly .
"Yeah ?"
"I wanted to say that I l..."

The blast of the school siren interrupted us . I figured we weren't far from school if it rang so loudly .

He sighed and waved to me to follow him . I wanted to ask what he wanted to tell me , but I knew now he wouldn't tell me . The moment was ruined after all.

So we went back to school . Our day ended , but over the years we kept coming back , making the bunker our own little hangout . Putting in some new furniture , making sure the electricity and water works , our own little home .

This was where we spent most our time , before and after school . Sometimes even during if we were in the mood to skip a few classes .

It was our sanctuary .

It was also where our friendship developed even more . This was where we turned from friends to lovers .

He was my first kiss . My first and only . I might not have been his first kiss , or girl for that matter , but at least I was a good enough kiss to make him stay .

We were so in love , we were perfect . All was going to work out . We would marry , we would have children , we would've grown old together .

Over the next few summers we became adults , we were seniors that year . The year everything went to ashes . The year when my best friend and boyfriend , turned against me .

Tears fell from my face when I couldn't remember that part , I knew that's when my downfall started , but I couldn't remember the rest . It hurt so bad . WHY !?

I shook the questions from my head again , they weren't going to help me remember .

I walked in further to our bunker , back to the shower room . I wanted to change my blood soaked clothes , wash my face , rid the red liquid from my body .

I turned on the tap and waited for the water to reach the right temperature . I was starting to undress when I changed my mind .

Maybe I had to go to our panic room.

We built this part that summer . It was sealed do nobody could get in or out without having the pass we do . It was soundproof  so nobody could hear anything from the inside . And it was white , everything was . The bed , table , chairs , it all was white .

And in that panic room , was a guest . He was the only thing in there with colour . He hasn't seen my face , hasn't heard my voice , he does not know where he is .

I didn't want to waste the water , so I shut the tap off again , fastened my zip of my hoodie , and marched to the room .

I unlocked it with my pass and stepped inside .

Maybe today was the day I revealed myself . Maybe today I would remember more . Maybe I would talk for the first time in what feels like forever .

I stepped inside , and the contrast of the colours to the white was blinding . Especially the red colour .

"Please , please not again , free me please . I don't wanna die , I don't wanna die . I DON'T WANT TO DIE !" he cried and screamed .

"Shhh" I sounded to him calmly .

"Who are you ! Why are you doing this ! Please ! Just let me go." He wailed .

Today , yes today I would talk .

My voice came out hoarse and it hurt .

"I ... c-can't..."

"Please please please !"

"N-no..."

I walked round to him to pull of his blindfold , I was going to be a bit more hospital .

The light temporarily blinded him , but his eyes came to focus on me . My face was still hidden under the hoodie .

His expression came to horror when he saw the red colour , the blood . On me and on him .

"Time ... for your ... cut." I whispered .
"No please not again !"
"Shhhhh."

His hands and legs were tied so he couldn't stop me . I sliced his shirt down the middle . His chest was toned and his muscles rippled as he recoiled from me .

My 14th cut would be on his stomach , just like my first cut on my 14th victim .

I wiped my knife on his shirt to get rid of the blood it drew from the girl earlier .

And the I started to make an identical cut to earlier .

He screamed from the pain , trying to get me off him , trying to stop me .

"S-stop !" I say .

My voice wasn't as hoarse anymore , it almost sounded like me before this .

My voice distracted him from the pain, he recognized my voice .
"Rose ? No , it can't be . You , you died ?" Fresh tears sprang from his eyes.

"Oh my word , Rose , I'm so sorry , I'm so sorry . I was a jerk . Rose ? Let me go please . Let's figure this out ? Rose !"

"No."

"Rose don't you know it's me ? It's be sweetheart . It's me ! Connor-Luke !
Rose ..."

Connor-Luke , yes , my bestfriend , my traitor . 

"... lovers to nothing ... blood to ashes ... Connor-Luke to dust"

I left him bleeding from the wound .