In Her Mind

Blood : Sparks to a Flame .10.

My knife was gone . My humanity was gone . So was my soul. I wanted to rid my body of my emotions . But I couldn't , well not entirely yet . Someone was clawing at me to keep these emotions . Was it the kiss with Connor ? Was it the bloodlust ? What was it ?

That kiss . What was with that kiss ? I couldn't concentrate and my mind keep dwelling to that moment . It was wonderful but I hated it !

My eyes were drawn to that damned door , the door that held Connor captive . Maybe if I just faced him after that kiss it would blow over .

I didn't have anything better to do so I gave it a shot . I opened the door and miraculously he didn't look at me with much hate .

My eyes softened and another warm feeling built up inside me . What was this !? Why the hell is this happening !?

Connor shot a glance at me , closed his eyes and then spoke .

"You kissed me..." it was a soft whisper . "Why did you kiss me Rose?"

I was taken aback and felt embarrassed . He felt it . Why was I so stupid to let kiss him when he could've felt it . I cursed inwardly and then replied .

"I ... I don't know ..." I could barely choke the words out .

His next words totally surprised me and the warm feeling only grew .

"I missed that . I missed you Rose..."

"No , you ... there's no way ... you're just saying that so you can escape ! You're trying to soften me up but it won't work ! I'm not gonna lose you again !"

Instead of choking the words freely tumbled out of my mouth . My last sentence made us both stare at each other in surprise.

"Rose , I won't leave you ."

"But you will , I can't trust you Connor , you'll try and escape , you'll tell the cops about me , I'll ... I'll be as good as dead !"

"Rose ..."
"No Connor , you won't -"
"Kiss me again."

He interrupted me and the warm feeling exploded into actions . I was at his side instantly and without wasting a second I kissed him . Long , slow and softly .

I broke the kiss and scampered to the wall in horror . How could I let him command me into doing that ? Have I completely lost my entire mind ?

The warm feeling . What was that ? I looked at him . What did I have to lose in asking him ?

"Connor , what is that warm feeling ?"

He smiled and his eyes looked at me with that same warm feeling . It was the first time that he didn't look at me with hate .

"It's love Rose ."

Love , it was love ? Did I love - still love Connor ? Was it love that made me so reckless ?

"Love ?" I repeated after him .

"Yes Rose , it is love ." He smiled .

Was this a trick from him ? Was it only to soften me up enough to give him the chance to break free ? Or was it that he really still did love me ?

"Do you still love me Connor-Luke ?"
I eyed him warily .

:Rose , I've never stopped loving you . It broke my heart to think that you were dead . How could I live without you ? And when you kidnapped me I wished I could die so I could join you in death . But then I found out my kidnapper was you and I couldn't believe it , my mind couldn't face it ."

"And the killing ?"

His face made a slight twist of agony but it returned back to a smile . Was he really lying ? Or ?

" I have to say Rose , that scared the hell out of me , to think you were or are the serial killer the police had been hunting ."

"You are disgusted by me killing ?"

"Rose , as crazy as this sounds , I understand , I don't encourage it , but I understand ."

I walked over to his side again and released the ties around his arms and head that kept him pinned down . It was a thing of trust .

I froze as his arms shot out and gently grabbed me , pulling my body to him as though my weight was as heavy as a feather . I was shocked and my mouth refuses to make words .

He kiss my forehead and held me tighter . The warm feeling sparked at his touch . I looked up at his face and focused on his eyes .

"The scars ?"

"I don't mind the scars Rose , you still look as beautiful as ever to me ." He ran his fingers over my scars and winced every time he hit a tender part and he could see I was in pain .

"I meant yours ..." I trailed of disgusted by my actions .

"I don't know why you did it , but I believe you'll share your reasons with me when the time comes , besides , we match now ."

I nodded and curled up tighter into his chest . It felt like normal , it felt like it was when we were still young , away from this mess .

He softly caressed my cheek and stared at me . Silence was the only conversation needed and so we just sat like that .

He looked down at me and captured my lips in his . This wasn't like the previous kisses . The kiss felt fiery and electric . It wasn't soft and gentle but rough and exciting .

He licked my bottom lip , asking me without words for permission and I slightly parted my lips , allowing him to deepen the kiss .

Our tongues clashed , fighting for dominance over the kiss and our breathing became shallow .

The warm feeling that sparked turned to a flame . Our blood was all hot and fiery , and so were we .

Finally managing to break away he heaved heavily to allow air into our lungs again .

"I'm sorry Connor ."

"Don't be , Rose ."

I looked into his eyes and pecked his lips .

"I love you Connor."

And with that I fell asleep , exhausted from the day's killing , exhausted from the kissing .

I was long unconscious when Connor kissed me again , mumbling that he loved me more .