In Her Mind

Blood drops .1.

There is a beauty to how people squirm under pressure . Whether it's pressure from society , work stress , or from the tip of my knives .This particular victim was no different .

The girl screeched , begging me to let her go - not that I would - , tears streaming down her face . Long ago in a memory , this girl seems familiar.
Did I see her in a street once ? Perhaps while I was still normal , shopping in the centres ? Was she in a school I attended ? I can't remember ...

I can't remember ... why ? Why ! Why am I killing ?
My knife fell to the ground underneath us. Flustered I step away from her , my fingers brushing through my hair massaging my scalp . Why?

She screams and gets up to run away when I suddenly remember my task . To kill this unknown victim .

My eyes turn cool again and my emotions and questions are buried deep beneath my exterior . I've never let a victim get away , and I won't slip up - not ever not now .

In a swift motion I grabbed my knife and sprinted to catch up with her .
This part was my favorite , chasing her , catching up to her , pouncing on her , and then killing her.
I guess I always liked playing cat and mouse .

My legs pumped and propelled me forwards , faster and faster . My lengthy strides eating up the ground .
I was surprisingly fit , perhaps in high school I was an athlete ? Wait , where did I go to school ? Was I an athlete ? Why can't I remember ?

My pace slightly faltered , but I picked it up again . No longer than a few seconds passed till I tackled her to the ground .

I turned her to lay on her back and sat on her to keep her from moving . It was time to kill .

Like a worm she squirmed and knocked my hoodie right off my face . My face , complexion , was all exposed to her now . She must've seen the scars that mark my face because her expression turned even more horrified . I have to say , that it hurt knowing my scars terrify people to such extent . Was that perhaps the reason why I started to kill ?
No . I know it wasn't .

"Rose ? Is that you ? Rose what are you doing ? Let me go ! Stop this ! Rose ! Talk to me !" Her voice reached hysteria .

Rose ? Is that my name ? Rose ... Rose .. Yes ! Rose Black ! That's my name ! I'm Rose Black !

I wanted to answer , but I didn't know the answers . So I shook my head slowly looking her straight in the eyes .

She feverishly shook her head " No no no no !" But I didn't hear her pleas anymore . I had to get my job done .

I lifted my finger to my mouth , showing her the telltale sign to be quiet , and it worked . Her loud words turned to soft whispers as tears spilled over her cheeks .

I almost pitied her . Almost.

I now angled my knife to penetrate the soft flesh of her stomach . Softly I slowly pulled the knife over to make a cut , not deep , because many cuts were to come and she had to be alive till the last one . Till cut number 23 .

I guess I had a pattern to how I killed .
I cornered them , my mind raced of to questions left unanswered , the cat and mouse game followed , then I would start cutting my victims , stopping at the 23rd cut then leave my trademark . A "?" With the victim's number .

She was my 14th kill .

I continued slicing into her flesh , her shrieking cries filled the air . It was intoxicating , perhaps this was why I killed ? Was I addicted ? I don't know .

The cuts lined her legs , middle and arms , a few stabs here and there , then it was time to replicate the scars on my face . A diagonal line from her left eye to the right corner of her mouth and a line from her right eye to the left corner of her mouth , then a final one , cutting the corners of her mouth ear to ear , a smile .
Now the last cut , the 23rd .
Her suffering would end now .

I wiped her tears which mixed with the blood from her cuts . "Shhhhh" I sounded to her .

Then in one last cut , I slit her throat .
The blood from her flesh drained , colour left her eyes and her chest heaved one final time .

Her last breath whisped over her lips and her heart became silent.

Beautiful ,I thought .

I made my mark , I left her number .
Then I turned around and walked away into the night , back to my home .

The blood on my sneakers left footprints and then vanished as the blood dried .

The blood on my fingers dripped down to the ground . I pulled my hoodie over my head again , covering my face , and I walked .

And as I walked , I hummed a song to myself . A song , the only song I could remember , a song that might help me remember myself .

"Just take me anywhere , anywhere , anywhere away with you ."