I Love My Love

mirrors & epiphanies

- sometimes i love myself in you.
like teenagers on prom night,
i have no self control.
i love me enough to hate this body.
i've run for hours in search of a cure,
shedding calories, ridding all the pesticides
that live inside of me.
it couldn't be possibly be my fault.

- at 7 my mother told me i was big-boned
"like the rest of my father's side."

- at 14 my father said,
"maybe you shouldn't eat that last slice..
i mean, i don't want you to blow up overnight"

- at 17 i wore a size 13 jeans because
i had high blood-pressured thighs.
it wasn't until 20 that i looked in my mirror and realized

no one would ever love me for who i was on the inside.
not at this size
not in this life