Honey

7 - stargazing

Wonwoo's POV

"I'll tell you my story, Kim Mingyu. You see, I have always been a very unfortunate person. I didn't think about it much though, since I had my friends and family to help me out, whenever something would happen. If I fell, I had people to catch me or help me back up again. It had been like that since I was born. Actually, my whole existence was an accident.

My parents had a one-night stand but forgot to use protection. My mom found out later and was devastated because she didn't have my father's number or anything. However, one day she went to buy some coffee, and that day, someone bumped into her and made her spill it all. That person happened to be my dad.

They both recognized each other and decided to have a talk. My mother told my father that she was pregnant, and didn't have any intention of getting an abortion nor giving me up for adoption.

She was an orphan herself, you see. She lived in Japan almost all her life with her adoptive parents, they weren't very nice to her, however. When she was 18, she decided to go back to Korea, to find her biological parents. When she found her mother, she explained to her that she never wanted children and that she was an accident. It hurt her so much, and she didn't want me to go through the same pain. My dad understood and suggested to start dating, and if they didn't work out, he would help to raise me anyway.

Their story was a happy one. They fell madly in love and got married when I was 1. They supported me all the way through my life. They accepted me and my faults, failures and even sexual preferences. They were my biggest inspiration and role models. Looking at them made me believe that everything was possible.

3 years ago, it all started to go wrong. My misfortune got a lot worse. My grades fell all of a sudden. I kept losing things. My friends ditched me to hang out with the popular kids. They told them my secret about being gay. Everything just went downhill. My parents died in a hit and run accident. Since I had nowhere to go, I started living with my uncle. He is one hell of a jerk though. He beat me up, told me it was my fault my parents had died. He beat me up for being gay. He was and is always drunk. I always cleaned up after the mess he made. I took the hits and endured the pain.

He even left me for three whole months once. He just did it again last Sunday. I don't mind though, it's nice when he isn't home.

After that people started spreading rumors about me. They said I brought misfortune and if someone as much as spoke to me just once, all sorts of unfortunate things would happen to them. After that nobody dared to even look at me. Even the teachers were nervous around me.

I started to get depressed and having panic attacks. You experienced it just now, so you judge for yourself how easy it has been for me these past years. I wanted to die so bad. I wanted to end my own life so god damn many times. Every day, I would think about different ways to kill myself. I realized it was quite easy. I could do it quickly, painfully, get others to kill me. Nothing mattered. I felt completely lost and empty inside. My head constantly hurt, and I had breathing issues. I completely lost all the confidence I had left. All my will to get up in the morning. All I did was watch dramas in my room. They kept me from losing all my feelings as well. I grew to hate the day. All the people, all the noises, all the light. I made it a routine to go to the convenience store at night. That would be the only time a day I would eat as well. The night was so comforting to me. I felt less alone.

I lived like that until I moved here last month. My uncle is filthy rich for some reason I don't know, so when I asked to move to Seoul, he just agreed.

One night, on my way home from the convenience store I heard meowing coming from a dark alleyway. I walked into the alleyway to find the cat. That cat lives with me right now, it was the only thing keeping me sane until I met you and the others.