Honey

13 - letting go

I walked downstairs to get some food and greet my family. If I was lucky, my mom had set some food aside for me.

"Good morning!" I shouted down the stairs.

All I saw when I got down though, was an empty living room and kitchen.

That's right, they went on a trip to Japan to visit auntie. How could I forget?

I went into the kitchen and decided to start making ramyun, something I had become very good at. I usually made ramyun for all my friends when we hung out at my place.

They always praised me for it, even though it's just simple cooking. But making ramyun for 12 people is quite a task since you have to make sure that the noodles are equally cooked, and not too soggy nor firm.

I didn't even get to start cooking before I heard my phone ringing from upstairs.

Dang it, I just want food. I groaned and ran back up the stairs.

I grabbed my phone and pressed the green button, without looking who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mingyu. How are you?"

I froze when I recognized the voice.

Why is he, of all people, calling me? Why him? Why would he call me after what he said last night? Does he not know? Maybe he doesn't remember what happened yesterday? Even if he doesn't, I still do. I'm not going to act like nothing happened. No matter how much I want to be welcoming to him.

"Why are you calling me, hyung?"

"I just wanted to know how you feel, after all, you had a breakdown last night."

So he does remember.

"Is something wrong, Mingyu?"

Uh, yes there is. The whole fact that you are calling me like nothing happened. Even after what you said. Even though you know what you said.

"I'm fine. If that was it, I'll excuse myself. See you, hyung-"

"Wait! That wasn't all. Why were you crying last night?"

I was silent for a bit.

"Do you remember what happened last night, hyung? All of it?"

The line went silent. It was like that for a moment, and every second of silence annoyed me even more. The answer was so simple, and I knew that he already had an answer when I asked.

"I do"

"Then you should already know why I was crying"

Silence. Once again.

"Mingyu... Was that you? You know, at the door"

I didn't say anything, then I hung up. That should be enough of an answer for him. It's obvious anyway, I thought.

I let myself fall, let my body hit the bed carelessly. Then I was just lying there, staring at the ceiling.

"What's the point? Why do I even let him hurt me?" I spoke aloud for only myself to hear. Maybe if I just start not caring, he won't have an effect on me? He won't be able to hurt me like that. That's it, Kim Mingyu. You just have to not care.

I knew full well it was way too late for that. It had just almost been a week since the first time my eyes were blessed with the appearance of him. Almost one week since he had flooded my thoughts for the first time.