eighteen // larry ✔️

7

Authors Note: there's a bit of a time jump in here. I tend to do that when I feel like I'm dragging it on for longer than needed. Sorry! I hope you enjoy anyways! 🖤

A week later Harry get a call asking him to come in for a face to face interview with the mental health center he applied for.

A week after that he gets the job. He couldn't be happier and within that week he learns how to work the computer and the schedules. He likes the people he works, at least he thinks he does. Even after two months he doesn't know them that well yet.

The only thing is, Harry gets home two hours before Louis does. It gives Harry one and a half hours alone with his thoughts and half an hour making dinner for Louis and himself. Which is a nice schedule usually, Harry loves cooking and Louis loves eating.

Dispite that Harry is sad, he knows Louis wouldn't want him, not in the way Harry wants him. He is also sad because he isn't sure if anyone wants him. He's never had someone love him, or even like him, in a romantic way. He isn't even sure if he wants someone to love him because what if it doesn't work out?

He thinks about stuff like this everyday but today it's worse. He can't stop telling himself that no one will love him. His hands are shaking by the time he gets to the apartment. Shaking to the point where it takes him four minutes to open the door. Harry closes the door and sighs and cry's, he just wants to stop feeling unloved. He wants to feel love.

Harry read in a book that alcohol gives off the allusion that it takes pain away, and at this point harry wants that. He doesn't seem to care about how he's never actually gotten drunk before. All he cares about is wanting to feel better.

Harry doesn't feel better after three beers. He doesn't feel better after five beers either, so he opens the cabinet and grabbed an unopened bottle of vodka. He takes a gulp and it makes him gag and makes his jaws lock up. He ignores it and takes another gulp and another gulp until he's crying. He feels sick and he is still shaking. He can't think anything, but he is thinking everything and it's a bit overwhelming. He feels unbalanced and confused.

But out of all of his thoughts he realizes that he hasn't made Louis dinner. He stumbles shakingly to the kitchen, he attempts to start the oven but his shaking hands and blurry vision stop that. He begins to become aggravated and he presses against the oven more aggressively only for nothing to happen.

The door opens right as Harry punches the oven, tears are streaming down his face when Louis walks into the kitchen to find Harry staring blankly at it.

"Harry." Louis says softly, "Harry what the hell?"

Harry doesn't say anything but he turns to Louis. Harry's eyes are bloodshot from crying, his hands are still shaking, and his breath is uneven. Louis can tell right away a that he is drunk, the half empty bottle of vodka on the counter is probably what gives it away.

"Harry, let's go sit down," Louis says.

Harry shakes his head, "no," he says, "no I need to make you dinner. You deserve dinner."

"Harry I can make my own dinner, Yeah? Let's just sit down and get some water in you."

"No." Harry says loudly, "no, no I want to make you dinner, but I can't even fucking do that because I can't turn the oven on! I-I want to do this! How could anyone love me if I can't even make dinner?"

Louis doesn't say anything, he just drags Harry to the couch and forces him to sit down with a bottle of water.

Louis has delt with plenty of drunk people. He has also delt with plenty of sad drunk people. He was a sad drunk person before, but watching Harry hurt in the way he is tugs in Louis heart strings.