Regret Me Not | 김석진

Three

The morning sun shone almost too bright for him to bare through the deadlocked shutters on his tiny window. He whined, daring to open his eyes against the rays. The glow was just bright enough that he could see it under his eyelids. Turning over defiantly, he slammed a hand down on the place his alarm clock sat on his side table so that it didn't go off again.

It was one in the afternoon.

His shift didn't start until six and he wanted to get at least four more hours of shuteye before he had to drag himself to work. After the previous night, he dreaded it more than usual. The scene—he didn't know if it the ominous air or the bags under his eyes that brought him back—kept playing through his mind for reasons he couldn't conjure.

After Victoria had left, Namjoon waited outside by the door, sucking on a lollipop—as always, he usually kept one in his pocket for good measure—and waiting for the next customer so he wouldn't fall asleep again. If someone other than her had woken him up, he might have been fired on the spot. It seemed like a hefty punishment for sleeping on the job, but it wasn't the first time he had been caught.

A large black SUV halted violently next to the pump. He walked around it with a smile—the same exhausted one he offered all customers—before sticking the nozzle into the car. The windows were tinted, preventing him from seeing whoever he was servicing and made the encounter much more awkward than needed.

The only sound was the rev of the engine that must have produced enough exhaust for six cars—judging by how big the frame was.

Once their tank was filled, Namjoon knocked on the window to tell the driver how much they owed, but all he got was a crack of the window and some money tossed out of it before they skidded out of the gas station.

Feeling a bit discouraged, Namjoon took the lollipop out of his mouth while staring down at the cash. He didn't even realize his grip on the stick had lessened until he couldn't feel it between his fingers anymore. There was no shattering sound like he expected. No fragments of hardened sugar hit his shoes.

When his eyes focused again, he furrowed his eyebrows. The thing that had landed by the money was not a lollipop, but a cigarette. He could suddenly taste it in his mouth. It was familiar.

Namjoon shook the memory away as he sat up on his mattress. Maybe it was just a dream. With the previous night already buried in the back of his mind, he started his day.

The shitty coffee machine beckoned him from the small strip of linoleum-covered counter next to the fridge. He gave it a tight-lipped smile before grabbing the plug that dangled off the side of the counter.

"Morning, Shocky." He jammed the plug into the outlet directly behind the machine, expecting the little jolt of electricity that ran through his bones and made him jump with a yelp of pain.

A deep sigh escaped his lips as he opened the cupboard above to grab one of his many styrofoam cups he kept. It's just another day.

His phone buzzed urgently in his windbreaker pocket, prompting him to reach in and grab it. He slid his thumb across the receiver and a chipper voice sounded in his ears.

"Hey, Jungkook," Namjoon murmured.

Jungkook was beaming on the other end. "Hyung! I just got out of school. Let's all go to the pool!"

It was all Namjoon could do to nod and him in agreement before he took the cup from the counter and pushed open the unlocked door with the toe of his shoe. As he stepped out, he was lucky for the train car which blocked the sun from blinding him, heading away from the train tracks where his trailer was. "Yeah. I'll meet you there."