Some moments become more vivid with the passage of time. Yesterday's many encounters and separations existed for this moment. Every alley and crossroad I walked through were all meant to lead me to this very place. That kind of moment is what I mean...
Yoongi sighed as his slender fingers slid over the piano keys. The melody wasn't right. None of his songs seemed to make sense—nothing seemed to make sense. Not after that day.
With a frustrated bang on one of the keys, he grabbed his pack and stuck a cigarette between his lips. He reached for his lighter on the ledge of the light brown piano, but she took it before he could.
He shot her a warning glance, but she still picked a black marker off of the floor where he'd left it and wrote her initials on the white ceramic.
Y. K.
Yumi Kim. The girl he'd met at a live show where she was playing guitar a few weeks back. She wasn't bad, and he was piss drunk. Hence they slept together. He was left utterly empty and unsatisfied the next morning. But she seemed to care about him, so he wanted to give it a chance and see if he could actually let something good happen to him for once.
Everytime he was with her, he thought about Victoria and how much of a fuck up he was. Regret had finally surfaced a few months after the blow up. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it helped him write a few songs that sold pretty well.
Yoongi only stared at her as she smirked and gave the lighter a small shake. "Smoking is bad for you."
He took the cigarette out of his mouth, a small smile tugging at his lips while she walked over to the couch to grab a lollipop. "Suck on this instead."
"Or you could suck on me instead," he retorted instantly. The sex meant nothing to him, but it also helped him feel less alone.
Yumi rolled her eyes. "A true gentleman. I'm lucky to have you as my boyfriend."
"Pretty much," he muttered and tapped at the keys some more.
-
Lollipops were a nice alternative to smoking, and Yoongi found himself actually starting to like Yumi. She was no Victoria, but he was convinced that that chapter in his life was over. It was time to move on.
He was laying on the couch with a lemon-flavored sucker in his mouth. His phone lay on the floor next to him, and when it buzzed, he lowered himself to the carpet to take a look.
His eyes widened slightly at the message that made his heart pound.
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It had been so long since he'd spoken to any of them. He wanted to forget that part of his life. He didn't want a reminder of the past.
Besides, Yumi had a gig that night.
Yoongi spent all day thinking about Jungkook. Was he okay? Did he break anything? Was Victoria there? Did he really need him?
No. Of course not. Nobody needed Yoongi.
When he arrived at the bar where his girlfriend was performing, he went straight for the bar, not bothering to greet her or say good luck. He ordered a couple shots and downed all of them before the first set.
Yumi was clearly upset with him after the show. He wasn't listening at all. He just had his head in his hands the entire time, sipping on an alcoholic beverage every now and then. But when she confronted him, she was met with a completely different person—or at least, the person in him she hadn't yet seen. Honest Yoongi.
"I don't care about your little show," he said nonchalantly as they walked back to his place.
She furrowed her eyebrows, the guitar case in her hands feeling heavier by the second. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I don't give a shit about you. So stop following me around, okay?"
Yumi didn't slow, but instead matched his pace step for step. "What's your problem, Yoongi? Don't you get that I can't leave you alone?" At his silence, she continued. "I love you!"
He stopped immediately and faced her. "No, you don't. You don't even know me."
"I know you love me too!" she insisted, brows clinging to her eyes stubbornly, much like her attitude. "You're just scared."
Yoongi's hand flew up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I need you to stay away from me, okay? I don't want to be around you."
"Tell me you don't love me." Her bold words shocked him as she moved to block his way. "Tell me you don't love me. Then I'll leave you alone."
He looked her straight in the eyes, searching for sincerity, and found it. "I don't love you." He pushed past the distraught Yumi, feeling nothing.
She ran after him and grabbed his arm. "You don't mean it!"
"Don't touch me!" he shouted and ripped away from her violently. "Go the fuck away."
It was no surprise that Yoongi had ruined another relationship—pushed another person away. He was done with it. The only people he really wanted around all hated him. He couldn't stand the deep hole in his heart.
It was too much. He didn't want to feel anymore. He wanted to be nothing.
