Regret Me Not | 김석진

Twenty Three

After sunset, they found an empty fire pit and lit it with Namjoon's lighter. They settled around it and only watched the fire cast shadows on the skin of the others that seemed to dance to a beat nobody could hear.

The atmosphere was melancholy to match the silence. It started when Yoongi pulled something out of his bag.

The flames roared as he threw a framed picture into the pit.

"What are you doing?" Taehyung peered.

The older's voice was harder than usual. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"But it's a picture of your family."

"Does it look like I care?"

Taehyung sighed, staring at his hands. "I think you do."

"Look, you don't know me," Yoongi snapped while whipping around to face him. "So just stay the fuck out of my business."

"I know you..."

Yoongi huffed. "No, you don't. You're stuck in your little Taehyung world where everything's great all the time."

"Leave him alone, Yoongi," Jin warned, arm tightening around Victoria's waist.

He disregarded the oldest. "Look at me! I'm so handsome! I can destroy public property with paint! Whoo!" he mocked. "Freak!"

Taehyung balled his hands into fists. It wasn't often that he got angry, but Yoongi was pushing it. He looked up at him fiercely. "You're right. I'm a freak. Laugh all you want!" Silence gripped them. "You know why I am the way I am? Do you have any idea what it's like to come home one day and be totally betrayed by your own father?" Taehyung threw his hands around as he spoke. Everyone kept their head down except Yoongi.

"I mean...it's like, all of the sudden, he was some horrible person who only wanted to hurt his kids! He turned me into his slave! Do you have any idea how scary it is to know that if you don't obey your parent that you'll be beaten within an inch of your life?" He paused to let it sink in. "For a long time, I was an empty shell! But I'm better now!" Now Yoongi seemed to be backing down. "'Freak' is a compliment!"

"I guess that explains why you get attached so easily," Victoria thought out loud.

Taehyung swung his head toward her. "What?"

She didn't mean for him to hear her, but she thought she should be honest. "Intimacy issues." She looked right at him. "You didn't get enough love and attention as a kid so now you latch onto everyone in hope that they'll give it to you."

He scoffed. "And what's your excuse, Victoria? You were an only child for eighteen years and even with all that attention you're this..." He trailed off, wracking his brain for the right words. "Lonely, desperate, sad person!"

"What do you want from me?" she asked, trying to brush off the sting of his previous words. Beside her, Jin tensed with anger. "You want me to tell a sob story about how my childhood was awful and traumatic? Well, it wasn't." She sighed deeply before staring into the flames numbly. "I was a rich only-child who got whatever I wanted."

She paused to think about it, discovering that it was a bit more than that. "As long as I behaved," she added quietly. "And sat still...and didn't speak unless spoken to. My stepmother always said we had my fathers political career to think about."

"Well, that's it, then," Yoongi cut in. "You had a controlling stepmother who abused the mother title and taught you that love was conditional. That's why you're so desperate for love and look for it in everyone."

He had done it; Yoongi had ignited Victoria. She stood with fury. "At least I actually let myself feel something! You walk around acting like you don't give a shit about anyone and push people away! I don't ever want to be like you!"