The Red Bird

Chapter 18-The Red Bird Becomes A Heartbreaker

I don't know how it happened, but somewhere between the fawning over the picture of my mom and now, Scott and I had fallen asleep together. Don't look too deeply into that; nothing happened, I promise...

Man, is my life boring or what? I swear, all I ever do is sleep anymore...

Anyway, I woke up with my face incredibly close to Scott's. His eyes were still closed. I was going to get up and see what everyone else was doing, but his arms were wrapped tightly around me. I then noticed that mine were wrapped around him too. Aww... Couple goals...

I decided to embrace the moment of not having anything to do and just being able to spend time with my... What is he to me? From what I can recall, we never made anything official... Clearly we like each other though...

Actually, no we don't. We just do couple-y stuff because it's fun...

Alright, I'll take the sarcasm down a notch... Just to warn you though, self-control hasn't been at it's highest for me lately...

I dwell on our relationship status for a while, wondering what I would do if he asked my to be his girlfriend or what he would say if I asked him to be my boyfriend.

I smile to myself, thinking about it all, until I remember the Plan and what it entails. The reality hits me hard.

We could never be together...

If I were to become Queen, if we were to be together, he would King. I don't think he would like that very much... And a secret relationship wouldn't be appropriate, especially between the Queen and one of her scientists. 

And then the other outcome...

I don't think Scott would be willing to date a ghost.

My happiness fades to hurt as I look at Scott's face. I wonder if he has thought about this? Maybe I should talk to him about it...

He suddenly opens his eyes, which startles me. If he hadn't had his arms around me, I would've just flung myself off the bed.

"Woah, where are you going?" he asks, grinning. I try to return the smile, but I can't. "What's wrong?" he asks, looking worried.

"I just..." I take a deep, shaky breath and continue, "I was doing some thinking, and-."

"Uh oh... You, thinking? That can't be good," he says, faking a laugh to try to lighten the mood.

I give him a half-hearted smile and say, "I don't think we can be together. Scott..."

"What?" I can see so many emotions painted on his face, and each one hurts to see.

"I mean," I start, quickly trying to get out my reasoning so he doesn't think I'm just flat out rejecting him. "Remember the Plan? What if I succeed?"

"Then I'll stand by your side as the King! How would that be so bad?"

"Are you sure you'd want that? I mean, all of the responsibilities..."

"As long as you're there, I'll be fine..."

"Okay, I guess... But the other outcome-"

"That won't happen."

"Scott, the chances of me dying are a lot higher than my chances of surviving... You have to accept that," I say, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Then why bother? I still think we should just run away. Who knows what's beyond those mountains? We could make it! We could bring Gladys and my dad and Hannah and we could do it!"

"I know that's the easy way out, but all of those people out there are losing family members to scientific testing that isn't even finding anything new... And that's just the public stuff! What do you think she does to people under the noses of the media?" I say, becoming more sure that the only way to fix this is to become queen. 

"There has to be a better way. I mean, if you did... You know..." he doesn't want to say it, but I know what he's talking about. He shakes his head and continues, "If that happened, then it would all be for nothing and the Red Bird would die again. This time, though, there wouldn't be anyone to take her place and the world would be doomed."

"Well, I don't think that it would impact the world very much..."

"You never know! What if this is the world now?"

"Then when we got past those mountains, we'd find nothing," I say, trying to prove to him that his solution really isn't the right one.

He sighs and puts his forehead to mine. "I just just stand the thought of losing you..."

"That's why I think it might be best to end this now," I say so quietly that I barely even heard myself.

Scott says nothing. 

I carefully remove myself from his grasp and stand up, looking at him one more time before turning around and leaving the room.

I barely even close the door behind me before I start sobbing. I sit down on the other side of the door and just sit there for a while, drowning in my self pity.

A/N

Ouch... That hurt to write... It probably hurt to read as well, any of you that wanted Scott and Carol shippers! What would their ship be called?... Hmm... Well, it doesn't matter too much anyway, because the ship has sunk. :)

Please don't hate me too much! Anyway, I hope you liked it, despite how short and sad it was! Stay tuned for the next chapter!

~The Great Depatay