(a/n Hey to everyone who took the effort to read this, thanks. This part is written as in like a few days after the Starbucks meeting, just so you know.)
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(Tylers pov)
I was watching it again. But this time I was running. The energy loss of my body burned in my bones. I ignored the feeling and started to run even harder. More speed less thoughts, more rain less sorrow. But no matter how there's always more tears. Tears streaming along to the violent rain. My shoes hit the road the same time as the rain does. It violently shatters apart onto the ground. The rain. My body was soaked and the sky started crying even more and I, I cried with it. Tears running down my face. They felt the same as the rain. I kept running. Running into the forest, running to the river. Sometimes I would just scream. "Hello?! Is anybody out there!" No one would ever answer. It would always stay quiet, especially when it rained. I thought this time would be no different, and it wasn't. Except for one small thing. She. I saw her. She was in a tree, but I saw her. "Hello!" I yelled again. I hoped, with all my heart she wouldn't jsut jump out. I ran to the tree. "Jenna?" She looked down at me. Even though it was still raining I know she was crying. Tears streaming down her face at this very moment and I don't know what to do. I can't seem to do anything right. I wonder how she knows about this place. Does she come here often? Questions. All questions. My head was overthinking like crazy. I climbed up in the tree. Higher and higher until I had reached her level. I took place next to her and looked right at her. She just sat there in that tree. Completely silent. Her eyes were red and puffy, but they still had the same ice blue color like before. She could literally control my mind with them. They made me confused and they made me want to speak up to her and to talk about everything and to just let all feelings out, but I simply couldn't. They froze me. Everything made me nervous. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Her eyes were like a snowy castle and I was the prisoner.
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(Jenna's pov)
The rain. The tears. The tree. The river. The silence. Tyler.
My mind was blown up, filled with thoughts. I wanted to just spit them out and tell him. Tell him everything and just talk about it. But I felt like I was frozen. My mind just couldn't think anymore. It had done that enough anyways. I don't know what would've happened if Tyler didn't show up. More tears. Tears, tears , tears. I noticed them on his face too. Tears. We sat there, high in a tree in complete silence. Tyler. A boy I barely knew came to sit next to me while I'm being a stupid emotional person in a tree. In a tree. Funny. I always gon to this tree when I feel down. Either angry or sad. Or just completely depressed. Something had taken over my mind and I felt like I could never speak again. It prevented me from doing anything at that very moment. It just kept on screaming in my head. It had taken over my head. I stared at the river as Tyler eventually spoke up. "Do you want to talk about it?" I wanted to say yes with all my heart. I was craving to let it all out, to trust someone with it. I just couldn't bare the idea of him having to know and live with the thoughts that fly around freely in my mind. I havelost control and I don't know if I want it back. So I end up just sitting there, saying nothing. When he notices that I was not going to answer his question he asked another one. "Were you going to jump?" I shook my head. "To be copletely honest with you, I don't think I would have the guts to do it. I just want to know how it feels being so free. Do you see how other people live their lives? Take Maddy for example, do you see the way she lives? I want to know how that feels. To be free to do anything you like with whoever you truly like. I wish I would be able to live like that and to just be so so happy and not locked up in your own thoughts." I think I maybe went a little too far with that. He sighed. "Locked up in your mind huh? Did some-.....thing take over your mind? Does it eat your brain, just like it eats mine? Does it ruin everything for you the way it does for me. Does it prevent you from speaking up or just doing anything at all. Does is hate you as much as it hates me?" If I was a person like Maddy or any other kid I know, they wouln't understand what kind of it he meant. But I knew too damn well and I don't know how afraid I should be. I remained silent for a little while. then I nodded. "It hates me more. It keeps me from inventing things I want to do with my hands, prevents me from speaking." More tears. "I call it Blurryface." He said. He didn't say anything like, oh no, donyou want to talk? I can't imagine having that or I wouln't be able to live with that. He didn't say any of those things. He was just telling me he felt the same and knows what it feels like. To be honest that is all I need. Someone to just understand.
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(Tylers pov)'
I didn't know much about her, but I could clearly tell she was a broken person. First by society, then by her mind. She knows exactly what's going on in my mind if she understands this. I feel like she really really does. But I don't want her to. I don't want her to understand. She shouldnt't understand. No one should. No one ever deserves to feel like, llike they're stuck in a cage of which someone threw the key away. She shouldn't feel like she can't speak to anyone because she thinks she's doing something wrong. No one should know the feeling of crying in the pouring rain outside, alone. No one should feel like I feel. Except for me. I should feel like I feel. I deserve to feel like how I feel, because I am a worthless misplaced human being. I was a mistake, I shouldn't even be here. I don't know where I should be though, Do I truly belong somewhere? Do I belong after death? In another country? On another planet? I may never know. Deep in my heart I knew this all wasn't okay, but I was certain that I was going to help this girl, to get rid of that feeling. To get rid of everything. To get rid of me.
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A/n
Sooooo, updated again... had to work again today and it's 11:23 pm right now. I always stay up kinda late anyways so I don't really mind. I always update around this hour haha. Anyways, I hope the chapter wasn't too short, I wrote like a thousand words but like yeah I don't know if that's too short or not so okay. I really enjoy writing these and hope you continue reading in the future :) I rreally do put effort in these chapters for some reason. I just love to float away in my ownn story and blablabla. Feels like kind of an escape from everything at that moment. It's just me, my thoughts and laptop and no one will bother me at this time of the day. So that was kind of not interesting at alll. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading my story and have a great day! :)
