Speak Up

Once and Only

I've been contemplating weather I should cut or I shouldn't. I know that kelly doesn't want me to, but I feel like it would make Vanessa stop. I would only do it once, never again. But I would have to tell Andrée and Jessica about it, I don't know if they would be happy that I cut my wrists. I can't think this out right now, I'm sitting in English.

I'm walking down the hallway when I hear people whistling and screaming. when I get to where everyone else was, I saw danny kissing another girl.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I scream, the tears start rolling down my face. i run into the bathroom to hide from everyone, to get away from the hot eyes and stares.

"Nicole? are you here?" I hear a familiar voice, it's kelly. I had skipped class because I was just so hurt that i couldn't bear to see him in the hallways.

"yeah. I'm here." she walks into my room holding a handful of movies, a couple pints of ice cream, and two spoons.

"you ready for a movie and ice cream night?" she asks sweetly.

"yeah. sure. who can't go wrong with movies and ice cream?" kelly was the first person I told about what happened. she's always there for me, and always listens to me when I'm upset.

the first movie we watched was "Finding Nemo" and that's my favorite movie ever. second we saw "Marley and Me". After that, we ended up watching "Cyber bully" on Netflix. it's Friday, and because I don't have class tomorrow, I'm at the supermarket at 1:20 a.m. getting ice cream with my best friend.

"danny is a jerk." kelly says.

"yeah I know, but I really like him. I've liked him for two years." I respond.

"that will be 20.62" the cashier intervenes. I hand her the 20 dollar bill and give her three quarters. kelly and I walk out with 6 pints of ice cream ready to go home and watch a couple more movies and then crash.

"so you remember when you were talking about cutting your wrists?" kelly asks.

"yeah, what about it?"

"well you aren't going to because of danny are you?" she raises an eyebrow at me.

"no, I shouldn't. I mean, he's just a guy right?" I was thinking about doing it, although I didn't admit it to kelly. I didn't want to worry her, so I kept it to myself.

"wow she's really stupid to look into the basement. like honestly, you idiot." kelly yells at the television.

"yeah I know. you should've known that the damn spirit that was trying to posses your daughter was going to be in the basement." we were watching a horror movie, but we weren't scared at all. well maybe I was when there were these jump scares. but besides that, we were having a really good time. my phone kept sending me notifications that danny was texting me. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him after what he did. I ignored him.

kelly passed out after we finished watching "The Woman In Black". I'll admit, it's pretty creepy.

I looked at the messages from danny saying that it wasn't meant to hurt me and that it was a dare. I answered him, thinking that he wouldn't respond. I said "if you didn't want to hurt me, you should've thought about it before you went off kissing another girl." he responded "I know, I'm sorry." I talked to a few other people and they said that he was dating the girl that he kissed. at that point, I flipped out. I grabbed a knife, and went outside. I took a walk, just far enough from my house that I was in a dark street without any houses.

I took my knife and ran it across my wrist gently. I was listening to a sad song and all the feelings of hate, hurt, and lost hope flooded my mind and body. i lost control, and made deep cuts.

I awoke with a sharp pain in my left wrist. I looked at it and remembered what I had done last night. I regret all of it. maybe if I tell Vanessa she'll stop but kelly, Andrée and Jessica will be upset that I cut. do I just hide my wrists until they heal, or do I tell them what happened? I can't think straight anymore, maybe it would be good to tell them. maybe they would understand.

"Nicole, what the hell is on your wrist?" kelly says concerned, tears filling her eyes.

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Author's Note-

okay so this is a very emotional chapter.

thank you guys so much for 90 reads! i really appreciate all the feedback and votes. thank you!

sorry for the cliffhanger..