Speak Up

Secrets

"Are you serious right now?" I glare at Vanessa. She was released from the hospital about a week ago and now she's fine but she's keeping secrets.

"what?" she replies sharply.

"drinking really? are you kidding me?" I half yell. I have this serious expression plastered on my face.

"well it's not my fault that things aren't going good for me right now!" she defends.

"but you don't need to drink! do you know what that does for your system?"

"yeah I know what it does, I took health in seventh grade."

"are you kidding me right now Vanessa? what the hell are you thinking?" I say.

"I'm not. and I don't need to. why are you so upset about this?" at this point, I'm very angry.

"BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!" i scream. "YOU DONT GET IT. I WOULD RISK MY OWN LIFE FOR YOURS AND THIS IS HOW YOU WASTE IT."

"damn Nicole calm down!" she exclaims. I walk away, crying.

as I'm staring out the window on the bus, I think back to my birthday. the whole accident. maybe she was hit too hard and she forgot what was right and what was wrong. maybe she is just looking for a slow and painful death. I remember standing on the beach with Danny when I got the phone call. he told me that he loved me. we haven't talked since. I can't be thinking about a guy when my best friend just threw everything away. she texts me a couple hours after our fight saying "I'm sorry please stop being mad at me. besides it's my life not yours." I replied with "yeah but sorry for caring about you. just leave me alone and continue throwing away all of your friends and family. wonder how your mothers going to react to this..hmm.." that shut her up.

her parents are divorced. she lives with her dad, and her mom lives twenty minutes away. her father cares about her, but for something like this he doesn't care at all. she could get drunk and end up in someone's bushes and he wouldn't care. all he honestly cares about is if she gets arrested. her mother on the other hand is completely different. she is strict, and a very good mother. she is engaged to a very nice man who I've only met once or twice. her situation explains most of the reason why she's been cutting. when the hospital saw that she was cutting, they informed her father. he said that she needed to stop and now Child Protective Services are involved. her life has been a roller coaster that is on a serious low point. she hasn't hit rock bottom yet, but close to it.

I walk into my house setting my keys on the kitchen counter. a knock on the door startles me.

"One second, be right there!" I yell. once I open the door, I am immediately hugged by none the less- Danny.

"I'm really sorry, for everything." he says sincerely.

"it's fine. just please stop hugging me." I say.

"okay okay sorry. can we talk?"

"yeah sure. let's take a walk down the block." we start walking and i start to think about what was going to happen between us. yes I like him, and he told me that he loved me. I just don't think that I'm ready to be with a guy just yet. not after what happened today.

"I'm sorry for what happened on your birthday. when I said that I loved you, I was just speaking in the moment. I didn't mean that I was really in love with you. I'm sorry." he tries to say.

"oh. um, okay." it hurt. it hurt to hear that from him but what was I going to do, cry?

"Nicole I'm really sorry. I know that you're going through a lot right now so maybe we should just be friends. I'll let you be alone." he walks the other way, going away from me.

that hurt.

I walk the rest of the way home alone. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I have a new message from kelly reading "DID YOU KNOW THAT VANESSA STARTED SMOKING?! and where are you, you aren't home.." so Kelly found out about her smoking also, and apparently she was at my house earlier. I text her back saying "sorry I was walking around. can you still come over?" next I know, she's standing at my front door.

"I don't get why she's been doing this." I say.

"me neither." kelly replies. I sit there staring at my phone waiting for a response from Vanessa, knowing that I won't get one.

kelly left at around four so that gave me about thirty minutes to get ready for this meeting. the meeting was for all new camp counselors that just got hired and needed to learn the ropes. it's a three month program.

I walk into the room where the program was held looking around. there were these four girls who looked a little older than me, maybe in their twenties. to my left was this guy who had piercing blue eyes and brown hair that landed just above his eyes. he approached me and started to have a conversation with me.

"hey, my name is Cody. whats yours beautiful?"

"um, hey. I'm Nicole. how are you?"

"good, excellent even especially after meeting you."

I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks and I look down smiling. I sat next to him during the duration of the meeting. his eyes kept meeting mine, and every time they did we smiled. we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. i wasn't going to tell anyone about him, not now.

I need to keep this secret from everyone. I have to.

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Author's Note-

Happy summer! sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy.

anyway I want to thank you guys for 250 reads! I'm going to start doing "song of the chapter" from this point on.

song of the chapter- "don't you remember" ~Adele

please comment and vote! thank you!