black // sequel to white // remington leith

six

how shit is this story so far?

willow

although i probably spend too much time with justin, in his arms crying, i go home relatively early. i find my mind in another place, i am trying to figure out where remington would've gone, i don't know this answer but i can imagine i do as i continue to walk the streets alone for a little bit.

i am not going anywhere per say, i just don't feel like going back to the apartment right now, not in my state. 

everything about my roommates screams party, currently i don't want a party unless the party is in my room alone with some loud music. right now that seems good but i can't go home quite yet.

i like the slight breeze in the air running through my hair because it doesn't make things as upsetting or depressing as they truly are, i am choosing to walk the streets of one of the biggest cities, if not the biggest, alone.

i find myself in front of a small record store, i've been here before because one of justin's friends works here. justin's friend is a musical genius, or just a genius in general. he's good at everything, except sports, which is why i question the reason he hangs out with people like justin and his friends.

he could really go places.

i walk inside, my eyes go instantly to the boy working the counter. "hey wills, what brings you here at nine thirty?" he chuckles reading the time on his watch. i shrug. "i don't want to go home, you always direct me to a good vinyl for my mood." i walk over to the counter with a slumped expression, it's how i feel.

i lean against the counter, there are a few people loitering this place but for the most part it's vacant. i loved this store so much, it was a hole in the wall, completely a hole in the wall, but the people working here picked out only the best vinyls and the most exclusive prints of them, most of the time you'd get the most limited here if it wasn't online, plus they just had the best workers.

"frank, i don't know where i am right now, i need music." i tell him leaning my body weight more into the countertop he had dividing us.

"what do you feel?" he leans forward some more so our faces our pretty close but frank was a lot older than me and i knew he wouldn't make a move... ever.

"indecisive." i tell him not really having to think that over. he smiles towards me. "i've got the perfect vinyl." he nods towards the listening booth which i skip happily over to. i don't want to go back to the apartment ever, i just want to be alone, to not be bothered for not wanting to be with someone.

i do want to be with someone, if only they knew.

i get into the booth which is a confined space but i find comfort in how humble this shop is. i lean my head against the class of the booth as i wait around for the boy to come back with the song, it takes him no time to do so.

he slips a clear vinyl with pink splashes out of a vinyl cover. i don't know what band it is because i can't quite see the cover of the sleeve. but when he places it on the player on front of me i can read 'KNUCKLE PUCK'

i've heard of the name but never took the time to take a good listen to their music. when the song comes on, i instantly get lost in the song.

when the song stops, i take off my headphones to see that i've got tears coming down my face. i laugh at how over emotional i am and how much i related to the song. "you good will?" he chuckles taking the headphones for himself to listen.

"yeah, just kind of lost." i tell him dismissing the topic with a wave of my hand. i take the back of my hand to wipe away the tears that have fallen, i am overly emotional and i am sure of it. 

"anything else for me?" i ask trying to lighten the mood with a small smile. "go into a little more detail?" he leans forward on the side of the table top thats holding the player. "it's just a messy relationship i used to have, it's been like six years since i saw him or anything happened there but all of a sudden he's everywhere, playing at work, he's in the club with me, i can't escape him." i shake my head because i sound i like i am crazy.

he removes the other vinyl from the player, tucking it away with one swift motion before he moves on. i watch him once more leaning against the glass of the playing station. he comes back slipping a white vinyl of a sleeve.

he places it carefully onto the player putting the needle onto the song he wants me to hear with precision. i listen closely and decide this was the album i needed on repeat for a little while. "what album?" i ask him.

"i think you think too much of me, drugs - the song i showed you - the song formed from the feeling of contradiction and confusion that comes from a difficult relationship. i thought you'd agree with the lyrics since you're in the same kind of boat there." he puts the vinyl back into the sleeve handing it to me with a marked 'sold' sticker on it.

"i think you understand the whole album more than anyone else would." he smile smally. i look at the album in my hand and nod at him in a thank you.

"see you soon." i tell him and he nods it off. 

i wave to him as i leave the listening booth and then the store. i guess this gives me a reason to go home.

i tell myself that things will be fine now that i've pushed him away but the possibilities of what could've became of trying again runs my mind and i hate myself for getting lost in this big city without him by my side. 

i get to my apartment, i go up the stairs alone and feel more lost then i did.

i get upstairs to my apartment shoving open the door. i head towards my room deciding writing how shitty my day was seemed like a good idea to let things not take over my mind. i place the vinyl on the player making me feel like i wasn't completely alone.

the sound of something hitting me window made me get up quickly. i rushed to the window, the sight below made my heart drop to my stomach.