The G(r)ay Area

Part Twenty-Nine

Mom sat down on the bed beside me and brushed my hair away from my forehead. "How are you feeling? Do you want me to get you any of your pain pills?"

I shook my head.

"Are you hungry?"

I shook my head again.

"Aiden, tell me what's wrong."

"You know it's been a whole year since dad died." I said softly.

Mom sighed. "I know, honey."

"I'm sorry I stressed you out so much." I said, pushing myself up into a sitting position.

"It's a teenager's job to stress their mothers out."

I smiled. "I don't think so."

"Well then there's something wrong here."

I rested my head on her shoulder. "Do you think dad would have been okay with me being gay?"

"He knew."

"He knew?"

Mom nodded, a smile on her face.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We didn't want to embarrass you, Aiden."

"I'm not embarrassed of being gay."

"You'd be embarrassed if your parents knew before you told them."

"Yeah."

"He really liked Lucas. I think they would have gotten along."

"Do you think I'm wrong for being mad at him?"

"It's okay to be mad at people. But I think you should listen to what he has to say."

I groaned. "Mom, you're supposed to be on my side."

"I am, honey. But-"

"Every time you say 'but' you always say something I don't want to hear."

"Would you just listen to me? Lucas was in the middle of a soccer game when... when the accident happened. He had one of the player's parents drive him to the hospital. He was a complete mess."

"Well good."

"He said it was his fault. That if he didn't break up with you, you'd be okay."

"It was his decision to end things. He didn't know what he wanted."

"Do you know what you want?"

I wanted Lucas. I wanted him more than anything. But what if we got back together and he still had doubts?

"Let me know if you need anything." Mom said, heading up the stairs.

I pulled the blanket over my shoulder. I waited for the door to shut before I turned my phone on. There were seven missed calls from Aiden and five from his mom. But I knew it was him using his mom's phone.

I sighed then pushed my phone away. Why couldn't I make up my mind? If I wanted to talk to Lucas, why wasn't I calling him? It was my turn to make a move, not his.

The door opened and just before I said something, someone spoke.

"I'm an idiot. A full-blown idiot. You have every right to hate me."

I shut my eyes and pretended I was asleep. But deep down, I was so excited I wanted to scream.

He kept talking. "I don't know why I thought there was anyone better than you out there. I was stupid to let you go."

So, so stupid.

"I wanted to keep your stuff but... it's not really mine so..." He took a deep breath. "There's some pictures and a necklace in there. And one of your t-shirts. I just... I thought you would want it back."

He set the stuff down on the floor and seconds later, the door was opening and closing. And just like that, he was gone.