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Chapter 23

Olivia's P.O.V

"What do you mean that they are legally yours as well?" Amanda asks. I look down for a moment before looking up again. My eyes meet hers.

"Maria White isn't their biological mother." I tell her. Her eyes widen. "And they know that I am." I tell her. Nick slams on the breaks and pulls over. I watch as he turns around and looks at me from the seat.

"What? You have kids? And you didn't tell me?" he asks. I shush him and look at Amanda.

"You have kids?" she asks.

"He won custody 2 years after they were born. At first it was shared custody and I had them every other week for 8 years. And then he won full custody. I haven't seen them since." I tell them. "There. Now you know my dirty little secret." I tell them. Amanda switches sides to sit next to me. I feel her arms encircle my waist.

"We will get through this." she whispers. I look at her.

"What do you mean?" I ask quietly.

"We will get you custody of your kids. You are in a great relationship, you have a great job, you are home more. You live near a good school. You don't have any attempted murder on your shoulders." she says. "We will get custody of Kayla and Timothy." she tells me. I nod and hug her.

I wipe my tears and sit up straight. "Okay. Let's get to the precinct and then I want to go home. I need a shower-and a haircut." I tell them. Amanda laughs kissing my cheek.

- - -

The scalding hot water hits my lower back and the floor, causing a beat to sound through the bathroom. I start to rap a song I heard once.

"Diamonds, pearls, gimme that gucci

There's more important things, why you trippin bout some loui?

When I hear them kids screaming, with no food to go to school with

When I hear them bells ringing, I just think that we so clueless

We degrade each other, we degrade ourselves

We never read the books, we just knock em' off the shelves

Judging by the covers, don't believe in nothing else

Coz a person ain't shit, if they ain't high up on that wealth

Right?

Wrong

We straying from the purpose

We disrespect each other

And the people that have birthed us

We hatin on our loved ones

And loving who have hurt us

We forget about what means the most

And dwell on what we purchase

Forget all of that, it's not worth it

And stop thinking you gotta be perfect

We all different we all shine like diamonds

Sometimes you gotta dig deep just so you can find them

Listen to my voice, put the blade down

I know you think, that's your only true escape now

Them scars on your arm ain't worth the pain now

And them screams that were silent have regained they main sound

If they don't love you for who you are

That's their issue

When you lying dead on the floor, could they fix you?

When you on the news, you really think that they'd miss you?

Pretend like they care, turn around and forget you

And all this racism truly makes me sick

We hatin on each other coz the skin we born with?

We take from each other, stab and rape one another

Stereotype a person coz they white or a brother

I'm confused

We fucked up like the drugs we use

We go killin motherfuckers just for upgraded shoes

I'm a tad disappointed in this new generation

I done grew up in the jungle, I'm just tryna find my way in

Really, I'm just tryna find an exit

I'm running to the end, but it's like a maze with no direction

I'm passing every corner, and I'm feeling disconnected

It's like hate is a disease, and I'm the only one not infected

So God, let em' not disregard

That beauty from the outside, reflects from one good heart

And it don't matter where you came from

It don't matter we you start

We gon make it to the finish line, together not apart

Together not apart

It don't matter where you came from

It don't matter we you start

We gon make it to the finish line, together not apart

Together not apart"

I sigh as I rinse the soap from my body. Shutting the water off, I open the shower door and step out. Grabbing my towel I dry off and wrap it around me. Throwing my dirty clothes in the hamper I walk out of the bathroom and into the living room.

My heart stops at the sight in front of me. Sitting in the chair wearing nothing-is Amanda. She has a book in her hands and is looking out the window. The floor creaks under my foot and she looks at me with a smile.

I give her a small smile. "What are you doing?" I ask. She closes her book and stands up. Her hands on my waist instantly.

"God, I missed your lips, your body, your smell. I missed you." she whispers.

She kisses me and I drop the towel to hold her. She wraps a leg around mine and rubs against me. I let out a moan, and her fingers get tangled up in my hair. I lift her up, my hands holding her butt cheeks and her legs go around my waist.

I carry her to our bedroom and shut the door behind us. I feel her fingers tracing down my body as I lay with her on the bed. Her blue eyes look up at me, then flicker down to my lips. I close my eyes and kiss her gently.

Our tongues slide against each other, and I pull on her lip gently with my teeth. She lets out a moan. I feel her fingers gently rubbing me and I shiver with pleasure.

I feel her lips go from my mouth, down my chest, and stopping right above my belly button. She inserts a finger into me and I grip the sheets as she traces circles with her finger. I let out a moan.

I feel her tongue slide down the rest of my body and stopping at my vagina. All of a sudden a knock sounds on the front door. Amanda sits up and licks her fingers. "Are you expecting someone?" she asks.

I shake my head. "No. Are you?" I ask. She shakes her head. I sit up off the bed and groan. Amanda climbs off of me and gets off the bed. She slides on her robe and ties it. She hands me my robe as I stand up. I tightly tie it and open the door. Amanda takes my hand in hers and entwines our fingers.

I open the front door and look at who is standing there. Amanda's mom. "Well don't just stand there! Invite me in!"