Requested by: melon_crow
Trigger warning, as you can probably already tell, this isn't gonna be a fluff.
"I love you, (Y/N)!"
Lies, they were all lies, how can something so beautiful be so harmful at the same time? You didn't ask for this, all you wanted was your girlfriend to love and stay loyal to you, but no, you get none of that, instead, you got a bunch of lies and betrayal.
This was the third time you've had a breakdown in just one day, you thought you would be fine, but you aren't. Mari doesn't know that you know about her cheating on you with Kanan. Just seeing her face as she walked down the hallways were like stabbing your heart with knives, a piercing cut each time. Your heart was bleeding, you were emotionally confused and tired, you needed to get out of this, but you don't know where to start either. Day by day, you would sit by yourself and cut, watching as the blood flowed from you wrist onto the ground as if it would relieve any of your pain. Feeling the pain slightly made your heart ache less, but it didn't make you feel any better, you wanted to die, to leave this place so you can maybe move on. After all, you never asked for this.
You wonder if this is what they meant when they said some things are better left unknown? Probably. Before you learned the truth, everything was fine, you felt loved, it might not have been real, but at least you weren't in the situation you now are. All this pain was turning into anger, from anger, it turned to sadness, then self depreciation, maybe you just weren't good enough for her, or maybe you just needed to be better than Kanan. You gave her your everything, so why couldn't she also give you her everything? Were you just not worth it? Apparently not. You chuckle dryly to yourself as you draw another thin red line across your wrist, one that would stay with you for the rest of your life.
***
Riko would often stare out the window, what was she looking at, you might ask, whats so good about the sky? But no, none of that interested her, except for your reflection that would show up in the windows. Knowing you had a girlfriend, she could only often watch from afar, regretting her own cowardness for not confessing sooner. Maybe if she had, you would be with her right now, and she would make you the happiest woman on earth.
Her heart would wrench in pain everytime you ran up to her to talk about Mari, but she stays quiet about her own feelings each time, only hoping for the best for you and Mari.
It wasn't long before she also noticed your physical state, wearing a hoodie in a hot day, often not meeting anyone's gaze, not even smiling like usual. Since she wasn't your girlfriend, she could only again, watch from afar.
A long sigh could be heared from Riko as she stood up to go to you, most likely to ask if you were ok.
You could only look up at her with your lifeless eyes, now swollen with all the tears you've shed in the past few days. Your mouth was dry from malnutrition and throat croaky from sobbing.
It scared Riko to see you in such a depressed state, she slowly took a chair and sat down beside you hoping it would give you some comfort.
When Riko sat down next to you, you felt a strange type of feeling wash over you. You were unsure what was going to happen, but it certainly calmed you.
For the next half hour, Riko would sit beside you in silence as if to give solace to you. As welcoming as death had seemed just earlier in the day, now it was just a thought at the back of your mind. You were now more occupied with why someone would stupidly sit beside you for all this time especially when you aren't even willing to talk.
Riko had decided that she would sit there for as long as you needed, if it would make you feel any better, she would sit there. After all, isn't that what love is? Giving comfort to when the other would need it, showering them with a huge amount of love, all just to show someone that they are needed in this world, that someone does care.
The thought burdened you however, as you still couldn't figure out why she was sitting there. As that confusion turned into anger, you decide to let out your pain on her. You would do anything now as long as it gets rid of the sadness, pain, and anger inside your heart.
"Go away! I don't want to see you-" You were screaming and shouting at her. "Why are you sitting here?!" You continue to ask finally letting out what was bottled up inside of you.
Riko only stares at you with a soft gaze waiting for you to finish.
"I-I don't want your pity, damnit..." Shouts turned into sobs. "Just leave me alone-"
Still, as you started to cry, Riko only sits there and listens to you as you rant about the things you wouldn't tell anyone else.
"I hate her... but I love her, why wasn't I good enough for her...?" You ask Riko on the edge of insanity. You needed an answer, now.
She simply stands and pulls you into a hug. "You were never not good enough for her..." she starts. "It was her who was not good enough for you."
As those words run through your head, you blink feeling your anger dissipate, why didn't you think of it that way? Mari took such a big part of your heart that you had stopped thinking for yourself and that everything had to revolve around her.
Seeing you calm down, Riko gives you a small smile, one that made your heart beat just slightly faster. You look at all the things she's done for you and couldn't help but wonder how you never noticed any of it before.
This whole time you were dating Mari, Riko was in pain, you couldn't help but feel ashamed now that you looked at her.
"I'm sorry..." Another wave of sentiment washes over you, but now, instead of anger, sorrow, and pain, it was of regret and guilt. "I'm so sorry, Riko..." You whisper, voice barely audible.
"It's ok, (Y/N), just remember, whatever you do, don't think for a second that I won't be here for you." With those words, you were able to completely let go of the anger that was overwhelming you just a few moments ago and let your mind rest from all the turmoil.
As the afternoon goes on with Riko hugging you, the sun shines through the window, and anyone that would be looking at the window in the right time, would see a reflection of a smile, just a slight one, but one to express happiness show on your tear covered face.
A/N: Ok, wow- uh, I did NOT know I was capable of writing something so deep- so um, yeA, here you go, I seriously hope I got everything right though...
1225 words.
