DEVIANT [H.S.]

28 - Interlude

As I step closer and closer to Caleb, I notice how he is standing, how he is leaning over the edge of the bridge, looking out over the bay.

It's an exact replica of me almost an hour ago.

I wonder what he could possibly be thinking right now. His mind is probably in a tornado similar to my own.

"Hey," I say as I walk up to his side. He looks over to me, gives me a simple glance, then returns to his stare over the water.

"Hi."

"You okay?" I ask.

Caleb shrugs. "Should I be okay? I mean, I did know Aubrey. We were friends, in a way."

I let out a quick exhale of breath before responding. "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head as if to shake emotions away. "It's alright. We've all lost someone, right?"

I nod, taking in his words but not knowing exactly where he's headed. "Yeah, we have."

Caleb takes a sharp intake of breath, and I'm not prepared for what he's about to say next.

"After all of this is over, when these Deviants find their peace and Jeriah answers for all he's done, I am disowning myself as your Protector."

I step away from him, surprised and alarmed. "Wait... what?"

"You know it's the right thing to do," He replies, voice low and weak. "We both have people that we care about. You need to stay with the Coalition, they're your people now. I need to be with my family."

"You don't have to do this," I tell him, not necessarily disagreeing with his choice.

He smiles. "I know I don't. But I want to. Think of it as a voluntary removal from the equation."

I leave it at that and just stand in silence with him, watching the sun rise on the scape of the city. I don't ask why or how he came to this decision, even if Aubrey's death was the tipping point.

I let it rest. Between him and I, that's all we can ask for.

Caleb's mention of "voluntary" takes my mind back to when I was skimming through Harry's bookcase in his room at the compound. One day I had picked up The Hunger Games and was flipping through the pages.

A page had been dog-eared repeatedly. Page 22. I remember because Harry made the biggest deal out of it one night, when we were waiting for sleep to come.

///

"I volunteer!" I gasp. "I volunteer as tribute!"

Harry rereads the line for himself, smirking at the page. "It's a good fucking line," He comments, turning his body to face mine in the bed.

"She volunteered," I respond simply. "Anyone can volunteer for anything."

Harry clicks his tongue repeatedly, shutting the book and opening it again. "But Katniss did the single greatest thing for her own narrative, even if she signed herself up for her own potential death."

"You're saying that because you see yourself in Katniss. She resonates with you," I comment, raising a brow at him.

"I do," Harry says proudly. "Not ashamed of it. If I was in her position, I would do the same. If Tara Styles' name was called at the Reaping, I would volunteer in her place."

I purse my lips in thought. "Admirable."

"Not only admirable, but smart," He continues. "I would be scared shitless, but I would be saving myself and my loved ones from a whole lot of pain in the future... especially if I won."

"Thankfully, life isn't a Suzanne Collins novel," I smile, stealing the book from his hands. "There is no real life Hunger Games for you to volunteer for."

That statement makes Harry go quiet, his face diminishing from awed to contemplating.

"Life is the Hunger Games, Serena. I volunteered to be a lab rat for the Core, and ended up defective. I couldn't save my sister from the same fate, either," He discloses, his voice serious. "Volunteering is what made me who I am... it brought me here."

I look at him, nothing but lamplight illuminating his face. Even in this closeness, I can reach out and touch him. I hold back, though. I want to listen to him more.

I move a tiny bit closer, my voice matching his volume. "Well, Harry Styles... may the odds be ever in your favor."

"They are," He says, barely above a whisper. "They are."