DEVIANT [H.S.]

39 - Release

It's quiet. Too quiet.

It's been almost three days since the fire. I didn't expect death to hit this hard, but it did.

Deafening silence coats the walls of the compound like a second skin and I am on the verge of breaking. Not only because of Caleb and Dyana, but also because our leader is missing. Our mentor. Our friend, Malachi.

How am I supposed to handle that calmly?

I always have to find something to do, something to keep my mind off of what has happened or tears will fall freely with no restraint whatsoever.

I could be working on synthesizing formulas or running tests, but those won't help. Eventually, my mind would wander back to Caleb and all the time we had together; the formulas and tests would fade quickly away.

And in the midst of all this emotional stress and grief, I find myself leaning onto Harry more and more. When he lost his memory, I had no one to lean on, and now he's here. That's not exactly something I can let waste away.

Our skin touches more, our eyes linger more, our kisses savor more. Hints of arousal pop in and out every now and then, like when he brushes his fingers over the soft side of my wrist or lets his lips linger right next to my ear, whispering how much he cares for me.

We don't want to lose each other now that we know how quickly we can be taken away from each other. It's almost as if we have a limited amount of time, like a countdown of some sort. I don't want to think about losing Harry, but I have to prepare myself mentally and emotionally if one day he happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I guess that's why I'm a little bit more silent than usual as he's kissing on my neck right now.

"Babe, what are you thinking about?" He asks, his voice rumbling over my skin.

I sigh. "You. I'm thinking about you."

He frowns and sits up on the bed, pulling me up so we're sitting eye to eye. "You don't sound so enthused."

"I'm sorry." I say quietly. "I'm still a little tense from all that has happened. I don't know how to react to it all."

Harry nods and scoots a tad bit closer to me, taking my hands into his own. "I just wish there was something I could do to make you forget, even if just for a little while," He says, looking down at our intertwined fingers.

I let my mind roam over all the possibilities, all the options he could have to make the emptiness fade into something whole. He could tell me a story, he could kiss me all he wanted, he could hold me until my tears drench my cheeks, but that wouldn't make the sadness.. the anger I feel, fade.

Whatever he could do would be a fog over my emotions and I don't want that. I want to face my emotions. I want to relish in what I feel.

Harry's voice calls out to me as I rise from the bed and walk out of the room, and soon enough his feet follow where I'm going.

"Serena!" He shouts as he rushes into the elevator with me. "Where are you going?"

I say nothing and stare straight ahead, waiting for the elevator to make it down to the second floor.

"Serena... talk to me, damn it!" Harry exclaims, his hands balling into fists. "I don't know what you are doing but you need to stop! Talk to me!"

The elevator doors slide open and I walk out quickly without a word, the familiar atmosphere reaching into my senses again.

The gym.

I walk past all the equipment and head towards the boxing ring, where mitts and gloves are waiting to be worn.