High Anxiety - Dear Evan Hansen

Five

I'm not sure what this is. A bit of a Last Five Years timeline thing, mostly just vague angst? Idk. 

 The world was crumbling around him. Everything he'd built for so long. Everything he'd been resting his hopes on, and it was falling. Falling. Falling. Why did he think he could climb that tree?

All they saw was sky, for forever. It was a perfect day, the sun shining through a blue canvas. It sparkled on the tall grasses and the waxy spearheads gleaming green on reaching branches. It sparkled in his eyes, even as they closed in pain when he hit the dirt, soon to open to a helping hand and open heart. They were together. A perfect day.

He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep this up. He was hurting himself. He was hurting everyone... But when they asked, he pulled back. Put up his shields. It would all... It could all disappear if he just came clean, but what was he supposed to do when everything else went away?

Ah, reminiscing. Jokes. Stupid jokes to encourage each other. Nothing could hurt them when they were alive and well in these words and the friendship they embodied. All it took was what they could reinvent.

Precipices are curious. On one side, everything is perfect. On the other, everyone is screaming. He had his perfect family, willing to do for him what they couldn't do for themselves. He also had his personal furies and fates, bombarding him as he did everything wrong, leaving them in the dust.

Things were fading. No. No, they just had to keep it up for a little while longer. This couldn't fade away. He needed it. They both needed it. No one deserved anything else. They could wake the world up, just a simple little project.

A leap of faith, and the door is open. A few words, in the right hands. A story, just a story. Everyone needed it. The sun was coming out. The voices were aligned, happy. He'd helped them. He'd done something remarkable, and it was all falling into place.

A leap of faith, and the door is open. Now everyone knows. Now the past is a little less gray. It was all falling into place.

He'd messed up. She hated him. It was over before it began, but there was the idea: a reminder of what was, by telling of something that wasn't. Just keep them happy.

On top of the world, with everything going right. It was them and only them. It was built on what could've been, and had made what was so much better.

"Yes, yes of course he cared. Why would you ever think otherwise? He's not here, but there's this remnant. Would you like to see it? No, it's not too much trouble. Seriously, you deserve it. You aren't the only one who wants it."

Why do they have to get in the way? Everything was going right. Who are you calling selfish? They were happy!

This has to be perfect. He'd promised. And, well, he was kind of enjoying this. It was nice to have someone to talk to, and emails were better than nothing.

All you're going to be left with is you.

Yes! Yes, they were best friends! Of course. They'd only talked once, but this was his chance to become something more than he was. This was his chance to make someone happy, even if he couldn't do it for himself. Yeah, that was alright. Just two best friends on a perfect day. Heal what has been hurt.

Dear Evan Hansen,

He's dead.

Sincerely, Me.