High Anxiety - Dear Evan Hansen

February 14

Dear Evan Hansen,

I know this sounds stupid. Like, this sounds really stupid. It's stupid. Just forget it. Today is going to be a good day because...

Okay, no. This is important. Really stupid, but important. Shit, where should I start?

You remember homeroom in eighth grade? That kid sitting in the back corner who definitely never talked to you because he was a scary, violent emo who probably did every drug on the planet and was suspended at least three times for being angry all the time and hitting stuff instead of dealing with his feelings? Yeah. Pretty relatable right now.

Remember the pep rally freshman year that you were forced to go to? Remember the guy sitting and sulking next to you on the bleachers, blasting music from his headphones and reading a book and glaring at anyone who touched him? He didn't stand for any of the cheers and he pushed his way through the crowd as soon as they opened the doors because he didn't want to have to be sitting next to you of all people. Yeah. That too.

Remember the day you could've talked to him, only because he was the assistant in the library and you had to check out a book for english class? He didn't say a word to you, just scanned the book and shooed you away. You didn't say anything either. Pretty sure both of you wished you had, even just a "have a nice day" or "thank you." Remember how he did everything he could not to meet your gaze? Yeah.

Remember the day he ran into you in the hallway, finally talking to you as he helped you pick yourself up off the ground? You were blushing a lot. He smiled and blushed too. Yeah.

Remember the days before you knew each other? Remember before you were friends? Remember how shitty that was? For both of you? Right? Please? Shit, please tell me this is two-sided.

Look, basically... Happy Valentine's Day, freak. I've wanted to say it for years.

Sincerely,

Me.

XOXOXO