Sparkler and the Wolf

23. Fenris is a Fool

"I'm sorry Dorian, Fenris, but I need you in different locations. This is too important to not split you up. I need Dorian's expertise on the Venatori and I need Fenris' knowledge on slavers. And before either of you object more, where Dorian's needed there is a lot of red lyrium. I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be." The Inquisitor finished, fixing them both with a look which practically dared them to argue further.

Wordlessly, Dorian turned and left the War Room, tugging Fenris with him since it was clear the elf had no intention of leaving on his own.

Once they'd passed through the great hall and down to the courtyard, Fenris exploded. "How can you just accept this? I don't want you going to fight Red Templars without me, it's too dangerous! Are you listening? Stop walking mage!" Fenris cried, grabbing hold of Dorian's arm and spinning him to face him.

"Yes Fenris, I heard you." He said quietly, his voice so dejected, Fenris relaxed his grip on his arm. "We don't have a choice. And I saw what happened when that Red Templar cornered you in the Hissing Wastes. It's even more dangerous for you, the Inquisitor knows this and I won't risk it."

"The Inquisitor can't stop me from coming."

Dorian frowned. "Have you so little concern for your own safety?"

"I can take care of myself." Fenris growled. "And I don't see why you're following her orders. You could say no."

"I did say no Fenris! You heard me say it, but she's in charge here. I do what I'm asked and she needs me to help against the Venatori."

Fenris scowled harder. "This is ridiculous! I don't see why you're agreeing to this."

The hurt in Dorian's eyes was unmistakable. "No, I don't suppose you do. Excuse me but I have to pack for my trip."

Fenris felt his heart still. What had he done wrong? "Dorian, wait."

But Dorian only walked faster, pretending he hadn't heard as he continued on to his quarters.

"Kaffas!" The elf swore loud enough to scare the recruits near the barracks. He scowled at them hard enough they flinched, pretending he was no longer there. Why was the mage doing this? Red Templars were dangerous, especially for a mage. It was no less dangerous for him, so what was the issue? They could fight together, keep each other safe!

He kicked a pebble near his foot, hard enough it sailed through the second floor window of the Herald's Rest and ending in a startled curse.

"Ow!" And then a blond female elf stuck her head out and cursed at him. "Bloody, broody, tattooed maniac! What in Andraste's tits you think you're doing yeah? You wanna throw rocks at people at least have the sense to throw them at nobles! Oi! Knife-ear! I'm talkin to you!"

"I heard you elf!" He sneered back, walking away.

"Hey! Don't you walk away from me! I'm not finished!"

"I don't care!" He shouted back.

She disappeared from the window and Fenris debated for less than a second whether or not to flee. He swore under his breath. From what he knew of her, she was like a hissing, spitting cat. He would not run from her. So he waited, arms crossed as she came bursting out the door of the tavern, fists clenched, eyes stormy as she marched up to him.

"You're that glowy bit that's in that book of Varric's yeah? Heard you were like an animal all snarky and spiky and rude." She sneered, crossing her arms over chest. "Didn't think you'd lower yourself to throwing rocks. What's wrong with you anyway? Someone look at you wrong?"

"No."

"Oh! Talky one aren't ya? Hey, wait a minute. Weren't you just talking to Dorian? Shite! You're the one he's seein ain't ya? You have a fight or something? That why you threw a rock at me?"

"I did not throw a rock at you." He huffed.

"Doesn't matter. It hit me. Now tell me why." She said pointing a finger at his chest, her face growing more red by the minute. "I'm not leaving until you do."

"It was an accident. I apologize. I didn't mean to hit anyone." Fenris sighed.

"Not. Accepted. Don't care if it were an accident or not. Why'd you throw it?"

"I didn't throw it. I kicked it."

"And?" She pressed, scowling harder.

"Because I was angry."

"I know what that's like." She nodded, her entire posture relaxing. "People get you so upset you just have to hit things. Me, I like arrows. More arrows the better, especially against uppity, look down your nose nobles."

"You... talk a lot." Fenris observed, confused by her behaviour.

"And you don't talk enough. Well?Who ticked you off?"

"It's none of your business."

"I'm makin it my business. Sides, you don't tell me I'll just go ask Inky, I bet she knows."

"Ugh! You are irritating."

"Tell me who." She said, ignoring him.

"Fine. I'm angry with Dorian and the Inquisitor. Happy now?"

"No. What'd they do?"

"None of your business. Leave me alone elf." He said, turning on his heel and marching away.

"The name's Sera, grumpy!" She shouted, racing up the stairs of the keep.

Fenris' first thought was to go after Dorian and apologize, but he was still angry and he didn't know what he'd done to upset the mage. He didn't want to argue again and he had never been one to apologize to someone without first knowing what he was apologizing for. So he reversed course and headed for the Herald's Rest and a large tankard of ale.

----xxx----

Dorian knew he shouldn't have walked away from the warrior, but in that moment he didn't see Fenris, he saw all the reasons he'd left home. The slavery, the blood magic, the lies, the pettiness, but most of all he saw how all along he'd never had choices. How could he say those words to Fenris? A man who had never known the freedom of choices until he'd killed and bled for them?

He'd think Dorian selfish, entitled... noble. He'd laugh at him and in his comparison of choices he'd see him for the failure his countrymen saw him as, the failure he was. All he, Dorian Pavus had done was run away, embarrass his family and help stop his former mentor. How could any of that compare to what Fenris had lived? The truth was he had no power of his own, he'd given up what little power he had when he'd sold his Birthright. All he had now was the Inquisition and if he didn't have that he had nothing and nowhere to go.

So he packed what he needed for his trip with the Inquisitor, a tear falling down his cheek as he remembered how safe he'd felt only hours ago. He sniffed, feeling the familiar crushing weight of loneliness squeezing his heart, and with a sigh told himself it was better this way. Better for Fenris to never know how powerless and useless he really was. Better he think him beholden and ruled by the Inquisitor than to know he was powerless to change amything.

He hesitated at the threshold of his doorway, his heart screaming at him not to leave things like this with the elf, but he ignored it. What could he say? He had to go and the words he wouldn't say to Fenris were best left unsaid anyway.