a small note / irwin

eight

"...the system had an error in printing and the test results we gave you were someone else's."

Ashton sunk at the thought, and secretly prayed that he had a better condition.

"You have something worse." the doctor continued.

Fuck. But at least someone else got better.

"Tell me straight, doc." he replied shakily.

The words that came out of the doctor's mouth gave Ashton mixed emotions.

"Ischemic Heart Disease."

He had to ask, despite the slight chances of saying yes, "B-by any chance, was my file mixed up with C-catherine Williams? And i-is she getting better?"

"Why, yes it was her file that got mixed up with yours, but she isn't getting any better. And to be straight, you aren't either."

How fucking nice.

"Do you by any chance want to take any extra tests to see if we can make you any better?"

He inhaled deeply and immediately he answered,

"No, I'm going to die anyway."

He grabbed his jacket and went out of the shitty hospital clinic and drove to the small restaurant.

While driving, thoughts clouded his mind. Did he live his life well? Did he deserve life? Was he living to the fullest on his short life span?

For others, yes. It was his goal since his mother told him at age three, that he made her happy. He loved the feeling of seeing the smile in others, especially when it was caused by him. But for him, despite the happiness he always caused, he felt lonely. He didn't seem the need to get a girlfriend and have someone to love. He was making people happy. Who needed love? Love was always served with a side dish of heartbreak, so why risk it?

Then he realized that his life was on a rollercoaster that went up and straight on all the way until it stopped and just broke down. He realized his life was happy, but it was just too happy. Empty almost. Except for the last parts when he found out about Cathy. It went even higher uphill when they became friends, but then her sickness made it drop without warning.

Shit. He slammed on the brakes and noticed that he already arrived at the small diner and he nearly bumped into a tree. He parked the car and went inside as the owner greeted with a smile and a nod.

Ashton proceeded to the tiny room out back where Cathy and the boys waited by practicing the last minute.

"Ashton, hi!"

"Where were you you bloke?"

Questions and greetings were thrown around but Ashton wasn't listening since he was mentally debating whether to tell Cathy the news or not.

"Cathy, do you-- can I talk to you? In private?" he muttered.

"OTP OTP OTP OTP", The boys chanted loudly.

Cathy shrugged and was dragged by Ashton to the wrist into the tiny bathroom.

He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled loudly.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" she asked politely.

"I-you. Catherine Williams" He grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Ashton Irwin?" she asked confusedly.

"How do you do it? How do you manage to get a dickshit of a sickness and seem like it doesn't affect you?" He said, frustrated.

"Ashton, it doesn't affect me, because even if I die tomorrow, I've lived my life. I survived the bastards that put me down for nothing. I live simply and go with the ups and downs. My dad's death, my first crush, my sickness and telling him I love him." she stated plainly, looking into the glossy eyes of the once happy-go-lucky Ashton Irwin.

"A-about the 'I love him', part, if you don't mind, who is that?" He asked sheepishly and smiled a little through the tears.

"Ashton, I love you. You have this happiness that inspires me. You love to help people and I can't describe how much that makes me love you. Who do you think I describe in those sappy articles in the school paper?" She started tearing up.

An obnoxious knocking on the door disturbed their exchange followed by loud shouts.

"GUYS IF YOU'RE FUCKING IN THERE JUST KNOCK 'CAUSE I'LL SLIP A CONDOM UNDER THE DOOR" Michael yelled.

"NO YOU IDIOT, WE'RE TALKING." Ashton yelled back.

"We're on in fifteen minutes by the way" Luke's voice echoes in the small bathroom.

"Stay safe kids." Calum added before a shuffle of feet confirmed they left for something better to do.

Jesus those idiots. They both thought in their head.

Their faces were both tear stained and they laughed at each other.

"Cathy, I-i didn't know that I've been that big of an inspiration to you I mean your articles just made me wonder if that boy you wrote about was imaginary or something." He laughed slightly.

"And, you should know that you've made me realize that my life has been boring all this time but you changed that." he continued.

Catherine never knew that she could do anything like that. To have an effect on people. A few months ago she didn't even know she'll be noticed by anyone.

"And I love you for that Cathy." he finished.

This made Cathy redden like a tomato, Ashton did too. But they both leaned in and their lips fit together like two pieces of a broken heart, and stayed like that for a long time.

When they pulled away for air, Ashton said, "We should probably go now before they think we're fucking."

The splashed a little water on their faces, still processing what happened. Ashton decided to keep his real condition a secret, since that would make Cathy upset.

"There they are. Let's gooo!" Calum said marching toward the door.

"Come on." Ashton squeezed on Cathy's hand who was a little nervous.

"You'll be fine." Michael patted her back.

"Walk faster, lovebirds. They're waiting."

The crowd was not what she expected, she thought of fifteen people drinking beverages and ignoring the band whatstheirname playing onstage but no, it had to be a hundred people waiting for the band to play.

Fuck this. As idiotic as it sounds, YOLO. She thought.

~~~~

SHOUTOUT TO SHEA AND JAZ AND ERRYONE WHO STOOD UP FOR ME ILY ALL

AND TO ALL MY READERS PUTTING UP WITH MY WRITING *virtual hug*

AYEEE 5 VOTES FOR THE NEXT UPDATE BBYS