Smile - Joker Leto Fanfiction - {BWWM} - {COMPLETE}

T H I R T Y T W O

~ Surrender ~
~ day 58 ~
• C H E Y E N N E •

I drive around the back Wayne Manor, stopping at the natural spring that was sat behind it. As I first began growing up in Wayne Manor, this was my favorite place to go, to relax, to think, to forget. It reminded me of the very, very early mornings that James and I would sit on the rooftop and watch the sunrise over the skyscrapers of Gotham City.

The lake was a pretty shade of aqua blue, countless amounts of greenery, and even a small waterfall that cascaded off of some aged rocks. No one came back here, no one knew it even existed, so it was the only real place to be alone in Gotham City.

I always thought that the first time I stepped foot in this city of anarchy, it would be with James. Instead, I was here all alone with someone who didn't fully understand me. Just wanted to fix me and forget what I did wrong.

This natural spring was what brought me peace up until I met Angel and she hired me for a job I never knew I could do. Then, that was what made me feel normal. I used to work day and night, 24/7, to keep my mind off of things, to avoid nightmares. Then I met Damon and I actually managed to fall for him. It was so hard for me to catch feelings for anyone ever again after that night on the construction site. I was so scared that what happened that night would happen again. Luckily, when he left, there was no one for me to take it out on. The urges that I would normally have were taken out on anyone I was contracted to kill.

When Damon went missing and things went completely left with Bruce, I stopped taking contracts, stopped showing my face altogether. The nightmares started coming around, this time more frequent, more vivid. I no longer had an outlet to forget. My life was going down the drain and I was okay with letting it.

That's when Bruce walked in with this stupid mission. Put me in the worst position he could have put me in. If I had never met Joker, I wouldn't have gotten heartbroken again. I would be able to fix myself somewhat. But here I am, staring at the natural spring as I sit in my car, days since he told me to leave and I still can't figure it out. How did I manage before?

Even though deep down I knew this wasn't his fault, I completely blamed him for why I couldn't repair myself this time. He made me believe he understood, made me believe he was someone I could trust. Then, he yelled in my face to get out and to never see him again. That night, I felt as though I was going to explode. I just wanted to be left alone. So, I abandoned Suki and drove off into oblivion. Somehow, I found myself behind Wayne Manor, at the hidden entrance for the Batcave.

I honk three times before watching the rocks behind the waterfall lifts quietly and a metal bridge lift a couple inches above the surface of the water. I stare at the rippling water before pressing my foot on the gas. This was far from something I wanted to do and more like something I had to do.

I drive onto the bridge and straight into the waterfall, letting the water drench my car. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark, but I knew the downward ramp into the main part of the Batcave by heart. Each twist and turn and curve. It was going to be weird not driving over this ever again. Never seeing the natural spring again. Never living in luxury ever again.What was going to happen to all my money? My guns, my knives, my explosives? I guess it didn't matter anymore.

I park a few feet away from Bruce, who is standing by his chair, his hands in his pockets. He was rocking back and forth on his heels.He was anxious. So was I.

I open the car door, getting out, and hesitantly taking steps towards him. "Hey, dad."

My quiet voice still managed to echo through the cave. I clench my jaw, watching as his rocking ceases and his eyes look up to meet mine. The disappointment in his eyes was prominent. For some reason, it hurt me more than it ever had before. Usually, I tried my best not to care. This time, it wasn't so easy.

"I already arranged for the FBI to escort you from here to Louisiana," he mumbles, obvious remorse in his voice. I knew cared for me. He just had a super odd way of showing it once Selina came into the picture. "Before they get here, I just want to know, Cheyenne. Why?"

"I don't think you'd understand, dad. Uncle Robin would have-" I sigh, leaning against the hood of my car, but Bruce interrupts me.

"Robin isn't here, Cheyenne." He snaps, taking his hands out of his pockets. I clench my jaw, averting my gaze. He relaxes, trying to stay calm. "That's not what I'm talking about."

I look at him, realizing what he meant almost immediately. He wanted to know why I fell for Joker. Why everything went downhill. I found myself wishing that we were talking about my career choice instead now.

"Truthfully?" I ask before pressing my lips together. I watch him as he nods and I stand up straight. "He was the only one that understood me. Well, I thought he was. He told me his story, how he never meant to be who he is. How it was all a mistake. We are so much alike. We both go through the same things as a result of our past. He's the only person I have been able to remotely relate to. It made me feel at ease for the first time in 11 years."

Bruce is silent as he processes my words. From an open spot in the roof of the cave, I can hear sirens and helicopter blades slapping the air around them. This was it.

"Dad," I breath out, tears threatening my water line. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Behind me, I can hear the secret entrance opening. I glance behind me as light pours into the dim cave. I look back at him, tears now falling from my eyes and onto the already damp ground beneath me.

"I swear, I wanted to be better. I wanted to make you proud," I say, my voice unstable. A few black vans park behind my car and several men get out, holding guns up in my direction. I closed my eyes, already knowing the drill.

I hold my hands up and drop to my knees. I could see scenes from that night. The smell of wet rock was reminiscent of the smell of the rain that night that I should have been sent to prison. The rain mixed with the mud, the asphalt, the concrete that was in the construction site. The blaring sound of police sirens and the blinding red and blue lights.

I open my eyes as I feel the cuffs latch tightly around my wrist. In front of me, instead of Bruce, I saw my 14-year-old self, covered from head to toe in mud, hair drenched and sticking to her forehead and to the sides of her face. Her bottom lip quivered as she stared at me, her hands also cuffed behind her back.

I couldn't help but chuckle through my tears as the premonition disappears once the officers pull me to my feet and push me to the car.

I should have known that no matter who tried to save me and no matter how I might have tried to save myself, this was always going to be my fate.

this was supposed to be
a double update, but
i really didn't want
to keep you waiting longer
than I already did 😬
besides
a new character
gets introduced in the next chapter 😌
imma give you some time to
digest this chapter first