Shawn Mendes Imagines

XXIII ✧ I WANT THIS

  My right leg bounced impatiently as I sat in the living room, waiting for Shawn to come home. I was feeling a plethora of emotions. Joy, fear, anxiety. I wasn't sure how I would tell him. I wasn't sure how he would react. Would he be excited? Would he freak out?

  A lump formed in my throat as I thought about the worst possible scenario; him leaving me. What if the news was too overwhelming for him to handle and he-

  I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of keys unlocking our front door. The door slowly pushed open, and Shawn stepped inside. His cheeks had a bright red tint to them from the cold weather. His curls were messy. The way I liked them.

  "Hey, baby." His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at me. I gave him a closed-mouthed smile in return.

  "Hi."

  He shrugged off his jacket and placed it on the coat rack. I sat quietly, watching him. He was in a good mood. That was good. Maybe he won't be so upset when I tell him.

He walked over to the sofa and plopped down next to me. His big hand grabbed my legs, draping them over his.

"How was your day?" He asked as he began to rub my thigh.

  I shrugged. He gave me a strange look. Probably because I was so tense. Usually I would melt right into his touch.

  "What's wrong, honey?" He was concerned, I could see it in his eyes. God, I loved his eyes.

  "Nothing. I- I just..." How do you tell a man you're pregnant with his baby?

  His hand came up to my face and he began to stroke my cheek. "You can tell me. Maybe I can help." I sighed and grabbed his hand, pressing a kiss into his palm.

"Do you see us having a future?"

He simply shrugged. As if the question didn't even phase him. "Well of course. Is that what this is about? Our future?"

Maybe he wanted this. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I just didn't know how to tell him.

"Well, sort of... I just- Do you see yourself being with me, no matter what?" My voice cracked at the end of my sentence, which was the last thing I wanted.

"Yes, yes, of course, absolutely." Shawn was now kneeled in front of me, holding my hands. "Hey, look at me. Nothing you do would ever make me leave you."

He sounded sure, so I believed him. I nodded, feeling somewhat better. "I'll be back. Stay here."

Confusion washed over his face as I stood up, but he listened. I stared at him for a few seconds before walking into our bathroom. I looked at the three sticks that were sitting on the counter, and I felt sick to my stomach.

Sure, I wanted to have Shawn's kids, but I felt that it was too soon. We'd only been dating for two years, and he was so busy. I felt like that'd be the reason he wouldn't want this baby. That or he'd spend less time in the studio and on tour to be with us, and I didn't want to be the reason why he stopped doing what he loved. It was just bad timing, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it. It was his baby too, he deserved to know.

He wouldn't leave you. He loves you.

I gave myself one last reassuring thought before walking back into the living room. Shawn was right there where I left him, twiddling his thumbs. His head shot up when I came around the corner.