Unfixable

Chapter 4

The cab pulls up to the recording studio and I quickly pay the driver, he pulls away and almost runs over my feet, not that I'd feel it in these heels anyway. I pull them off my feet and run inside.

I open the door and close it quietly when I hear Scooter and Leon playing a track we recorded last night. They turn their heads to look at me as I do.

"Did Cat Valentine or Ariana Grande just walk in" Leon winks at me

"Shut up" I laugh

"It was a compliment, I missed the red hair" Leon walks towards me with his arms extended, I smile and hug him

He pulls away from the hug slightly to look at my face "holy Crap Ariana, you look God awful"

"Yeah, I've been told"

"Well I don't care what the hell hair color you have, I need to record a song" Scooter says pointing to the booth

"I'm so sorry, I had a incident at the set" I throw my purse in the corner of the recording booth and Leon turns the speakers on

"What kind of incident?" He asks in a concerned voice, his eyes scan my naked wrists and I quickly hide them in my sleeves.

"Nothing" I reply "I'm fine" whoops, there's the word again.

Leon raises a eyebrow at me, he knows what I went through during Victorious because he was a there...... "really, I'm okay. Now can you play the music?" I give him a reassuring smile, and he nods. I put the headphones on and get lost in the music

"Ariana....Ari...." I feel a hand gently shaking me and my eyes fly open.

"What time is it" I yawn

"Three in the morning" Leon answers me "you were supposed to go home at eight"

"No....I have to finish the song" I say while yawning at the same time

"Thats what I'm here for, we can finish it tomorrow"

"Why are you even here though, it's late"

"Well I came back to get my phone charger, but you need to go home"

"No I'll just...." I trail off when I realized what he said "your phone chargers here?" I practically jump in my seat

"Yeah I have it right he-" he holds up his charger and I grab it out of his hands and run to plug in my phone

"What the hell are you doing" Leon asks as if he's questioning my sanity at the moment

"Frankie texted me this morning but my phone died" my phones screen lights up as it turns itself back on. I run my finger across it hurriedly to unlock it, and tap on the message. My heart drops to my stomach as I read it

"get a ticket to Florida asap, it's urgent, u need to come home now"

Leon bends his neck to read it too "Ariana...do you need me to drive you home?" He says in a soft voice

Lost for words the only response I could manage to get out was a slow and slight nod as a single tear falls down my cheek Leon takes me by the shoulder, turns off the lights, and leads me out the door

He drops me off at my apartment, the elevators broken so I slowly take step at a time, trying not to fall down the stairs in exhaustion.

I finally get to my apartment and dig my keys out of my purse and unlock the door.

I throw my purse on the bed and get undressed, then head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I leave the door open since there's no reason to close it and look at my reflection, most of the makeup has washed up since the morning and the bags under my eyes are worse then ever. I close my eyes not wanting to even look at my reflection and open the cabinet to find my toothbrush and toothpaste. But my eyes land on something else. I don't know what kind of person who used to self harm would leave a razor in their cabinet, but there it was, just sitting there....I can feel my body tense up and my eyes fill with tears, oh God I want to do it so bad.... "Don't do it Ariana, it's almost been four years, your better that, your better now" doubting the truth to the words I just told myself a tear falls down my cheek and I reach into the cabinet to pull out my toothbrush and paste, then close it no matter how much I wanted to reach for that blade