Finding My Wanted in the Unknown

Chapter 12

It had been two weeks, three days and six hours since I'd seen my son last. My world felt like it was ending. I didn't want to get out of bed, eat or talk to anyone and the only reason I did was because of the baby. Emma was right about me being pregnant. I started having visions like I did when I was pregnant with Alem, which only made me think about him more and push myself into a deeper depression.

Some nights Eric and I would wake up after having felt like we were beaten within an inch of our lives and then the pain would just stop, almost like Alem could feel us grieving for him. Other nights it would feel like he was in love or completely fine where he was, which I think in a way made it harder for me. I just wanted him home.

I rolled over to my other side to see Eric looking right at me. His face was sad and he looked like he needed to feed. He had dark circles around his eyes and the life was drained from his eyes. Was all of it because of me?

"Partly." He said out loud, answering my question. My mouth dropped open and before I could respond, he spoke.

"Do you realize how connected you and I are? Do you not realize that I feel every single thing you do? Do you have any idea how much I miss him too, but I can't take this anymore. You're killing yourself; me and our new child and I won't sit by and watch you do it anymore." Eric got out of bed quickly and started getting dressed.

"Are you leaving me?" I felt myself start to cry and as I wiped my face, Eric stiffened and turned to look at me.

"No. I'd never give up on you or us, but you've given up on me. I need you to get up. I have something I need you to see."

"I don't want to get up,' I whined at him and in a flash Eric was at my side pulling me up gently.

"Larissa, I won't ask you nicely again. Get dressed because we are leaving." Eric took two steps back from me, leaving me standing there cold. I frowned and reached for him but he just shook his head no and moved back a few steps so I couldn't reach him.

"What are you doing? You've never denied me before. What did I do that was so bad that you'd deny your soul mate?"

"Just get dressed. We are leaving in five minutes and before you protest you are coming. Now just get dressed." His tone was firm and I knew if I took six minutes to get ready that he's make me pay for it somehow and I couldn't be away from Eric. He was the only good thing I had left.

'I'm glad you're finally starting to sound like yourself again, baby. Please finish getting dressed.' I smiled at him and the change of tone he'd used in my head. He loved me and I knew that I'd probably put him through hell these last few months. I never thought about his side of things and how Alem being gone, me pushing him away and cutting myself of from him had probably made him feel like I had left him too.

I dressed in jeans a sweater, trying to cover my baby bump. I was scared to let people know I was pregnant. I was overly paranoid about anyone knowing about the baby because I wasn't going to lose it too. I walked into the living room of our motel and looked for Eric.

After Alem went missing we looked everywhere, talked to anyone and everyone we could think of but no one had any idea where Emma could have taken him. After a week of searching we'd decided it probably wasn't safe to stay in this area with me being pregnant and we left to Northern California. We figured it was best to go to a place that we knew no one until after the baby was born.

"You look beautiful, Love." Eric's eyes never lied and I could feel the love he had for me. He always made me feel special.

"Thank you," I forced out as he moved closer to me.

"I'm going to show you something but you have to stay calm, okay?" His tone was low and I almost didn't hear what he said. My eyes locked with his and hope ran through me.