Shatter [Jonathan Byers] Stranger Things II

XLV: Panic

pan·ic

noun

sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.

"So, you're in?" Dustin asked, his eyes wide, his dorky headset lopsided on his head.

Emilia and Steve cast each other glances, both of them knowing now that there was no way out of this. They had gotten themselves involved in a wild goose chase, but there was no sense in pursuing the Demagorgon while they were hungry, tired, and it was dark. They had no inkling of where it would have gone, all they knew was that they had to find it before someone got killed. And although leaving it for the morning seemed like a terrible idea, they had all agreed that hunting a monster at night wouldn't end well, and they all had reminders of that.

Emilia's were burned on her face.

"We will all meet here tomorrow morning at eight AM- Steve, can you buy the meat?" Dustin asked.

Steve planted his hands on his hips, "Excuse me, do you know how expensive it is?"

"Just go to the butcher shop and ask for the stuff they put in hot dogs," Dustin suggested, his voice raising a pitch.

Emilia raised her lip in disgust, "I am not supporting that."

"We won't make a lady stick her hands in the meat, will we Steve?" Dustin threw an inquisitive look at Steve, whom he clearly looked up to as a role model.

Steve threw his hand out, gesturing at Emilia, "That's sexist, Dustin."

"No I'm not touching it, but I'll be happy to provide snacks and great company. Plus some education on the monster hunting business," Emilia countered. She was not touching old, stinky, bloody entrails from a butcher shop. Not the stuff they threw away, and certainly not the stuff that they put in hot dogs. "We'll be here at eight, Dustin."

Steve and Emilia drove back to where her car was parked at the café, she thanked him for driving her with a solemn look on her face. Having spent the day with Steve, being unsuccessful in finding Nancy, and still not knowing if Hopper was okay, Emilia realized that nothing was going to go back to the way it was. The Upside Down had done more when it first arrived in Hawkins, planted a seed that was blooming, splitting the concrete foundation upon which their lives were built, now that it was back, it was all creeping back in so easily.

Emilia jammed her keys into the ignition, but the care refused to start. She shouted, began yanking at the steering wheel like a psycho; she had never lost her cool before, and there she was, having a mild temper-tantrum in the dead parking lot of a café.

The sound of knuckles rapping on her car window made her freeze, hair hanging over the burned portion of her face. The door opened before she had a chance to look, but she knew it was Steve, who had been a good friend and waited to make sure Emilia's unreliable car would start. He reached his hand down, offering it to her with all the composure of a gentleman. She took it rather reluctantly, feeling as though she couldn't count on herself anymore, and walked to his car without picking up her feet.

He drove her to the cabin first, but it was empty still. A chill filled the room, it was painfully silent too.

"Where the hell are they..." Emilia's voice broke as she realized this was more serious than she thought. She didn't think Hopper and El were together, in fact, she had a bad feeling about everything that was going on. How could the two people best equipped to stopping the Upside Down both disappear the day that they were needed? Something was wrong, something was so wrong.

Panic sunk in as Emilia's knees felt weak.

"S-something happened here... Steve... I just have a bad feeling." Her words began to jumble, to become one string instead of a cohesive sentence. She rushed towards the boxes that had been scattered all over the floor when she last was there -nothing had changed-but this time she went through them more thoroughly. Finding what she knew she was looking for, she held it up to Steve and jabbed her finger repeatedly into the picture. "This, this, Steve! This is El's mother, what if Hopper took her there? Or, or what if she ran away and Hopper is looking for her?"

"Hey, relax, kid," Steve said as he knelt down and grabbed the paper from her flailing hand. "Tomorrow morning, we phone the station, see if Hopper is in, okay? You need to get some sleep, you need to relax."

"I can't do that, not here..." She looked forlornly around, as if El might pop out from behind the kitchen. She rose to her feet and walked towards the fridge, yanking it open. There was barely anything there, nothing that a meal could be made from. The freezer was empty, and when she caught sight of multiple bright yellow boxes of Eggos in the garbage, she knew something bad happened here. She whispered as she leaned against the counter, "not here..."

"We could, uhm," Steve muttered something, then rose his voice to say it so she could hear. "We could go to my place."

She flickered her gaze up at him, "Do you really think that is a good idea?"

"Oh, come on, Emilia, I'm not inviting you over for any reason other than I don't think you're going to be okay alone right now." His words were what she needed to hear, that she was being ridiculous, letting the panic sweep in and distract her. "Besides, we're going to be out early tomorrow, it'll be best that we are together from the get go."

She thought about it, and everything he said was smart, and valid. That, and she didn't want to be alone right then. Brushing her hair behind her ear, she nodded her answer to him. "You're right..."

On the drive to Steve's, there was a tension, but only because Emilia hadn't relaxed about El and Hopper. Through the car stereo, Foreigner's "Waiting for a Girl Like You" began to play, and Emilia felt sad once again.

"I guess it makes sense," she said.

"What does?" Steve asked as he neared his house.

"That Jonathan would want to be with Nancy, you know?"

"Why would you say that?" Steve asked, feeling slightly angry towards her now. He believed that Nancy and Jonathan went somewhere together, but that didn't mean that anything was happening between them. He saw long ago just how much Jonathan loved Emilia, more than he loved Nancy. Things didn't just flip over that fast, there was no way that Steve had made Jonathan suddenly fall out of love with Emilia, and in with Nancy. He thought about how Emilia and him had been spending a lot of time together, but he didn't want to kiss her again, and he certainly didn't love her. He wanted to be with Nancy, but that didn't mean he didn't want Emilia around any longer.

"Nancy is the girl everyone wants to be, she's pretty, she's perfect... She doesn't come with baggage like I do," Emilia said. They had pulled into the driveway, and she quickly exited the car. As she reached the front door of the massive Harrington home, Steve stopped her.

He grabbed hold of her arms and faced her, "Don't you dare put yourself down, Emilia. You aren't Nancy, you're you, that's what makes you great. Don't compare yourself to someone you're not."

She glanced tentatively up at him, feeling ashamed of her sudden disappearance of her self esteem.

"Say it with me," he said. "I am beautiful."

She cracked a smile, feeling joy spread through her, consuming the panic and defeat.

"I am beautiful," she said at last, then rolled her eyes.

UGH Google changed something and now it's really hard to get a proper URL for GIF's. Why do things update, just stay basic please. And I'm sick. And guys I saw Black Panther last night at the advanced screening and I loved it so much!!! Go see it.

Question of the Day: Even though Stemilia as a couple ain't gonna happen, do you ship them as friends?