Pakwan Shots

Happier

[A/N: another fic inspired by a song hahahah idk i like a lot of songs that remind me of kara. this one's inspired by Happier by Ed Sheeran. click the media above to listen to it if you haven't yet hehe enjoy!]

Ano ba ginagawa ko rito?

Mika invited me to this place at Maginhawa. It's called The Nook Cafe, and it's Harry Potter-themed. Mika knew kasi that I was a huge potterhead so syempre g na g naman ako. Bonus pa na kasama ko si Mika.

Pero nawala sa isip ko na palagi nga pala niya kasama jowa niya kahit saan siya pumunta. And now it's too late, I'm sitting right across the table from the two of them, holding hands while looking at the menu, while I'm sat here, looking like the biggest thirdwheel in the universe.

Tinitigan ko sila ng mabuti. Bagay nga ba talaga sila? Para sa akin, pangit 'yung height difference nila, hindi bagay. May pa-holding hands pa habang nakatingin sa menu, akala mo cute sila. Kahit hindi kami naging official ni Mika, mas cute pa rin kami dyan.

I quickly looked down at the menu when Mika looked up.

"Daks, ano gusto mo?" She asked.

"Butterbeer na lang, kumain na 'ko sa bahay," I replied, still not looking directly at her.

Mika nodded and gestured the waiter. Nung sinasabi niya na orders namin, nakita kong bumitaw na siya sa holding hands nila ni Jerome and I felt myself grin.

Finally, the waiter left with our orders and Mika prompted herself to face me.

"Daks alam mo ba--"

"Hindi pa niya alam." Mika was cut off by Jerome's comment.

Mika laughed. Huh? Anong funny dun? Paki-explain please, in Arial 12 justified 1.5 spacing with maximum of two pages.

Naki-tawa na lang ako kunwari.

"So eto na kasi, nabasa ko na 'yung Harry Potter and the Cursed Child," Mika started. "And, mmm... okay lang naman siya. Pero para kasi siyang fanfic."

Napakunot noo ko. "Talaga? Akala ko maganda. Pahiram ah!"

"Sure, pero kwento mo muna sakin kung bakit kayo nagbreak ni Bang."

"Nag-break na kayo ni Bang?" Jerome asked, shocked.

"Oo babe, parang ewan 'no? Ngayong February pa nakipag-break," Mika said.

I rolled my eyes. "Ano namang mali kung makikipagbreak ako ng February?"

"E Daks, it's love month! Sayang naman kayo ni Bang, akala ko forever na kayo."

Napayuko na lang ako. I loved Bang, I really did. In fact, I loved her too much that I didn't want to hurt her anymore. Kasi kahit anong mangyari, kahit anong pilit, si Mika pa rin.

"Kailan kayo nag-break?" Jerome asked. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Why does he care about my relationship with Bang all of a sudden?

"Uh, a week ago, I think."

"A week ago lang? You seem fine. That was a long relationship," He commented.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Trust me, Jerome, I'm far from fine."

It was true. I'm in such great pain. But not all of it comes from Bang and I's break-up.

Dumating na 'yung food. We were quiet nung kumakain, well, I was quiet. Nagk'kwentuhan 'yung dalawang mag-jowa. They try to include me in the conversation, pero ako na mismo 'yung NR. I didn't feel like conversing with the girl I've loved for years and her boyfriend.

I'd try my best to look at Mika without being caught by her or her boyfriend. Nakikita ko siyang tumatawa na parang walang kinabukasan. 'Yung smile niya, kita talaga gums niya. Wala talagang filter 'yung tawa niya.

Naalala ko pa nun nung sinabi niya sa'kin na biggest insecurity niya is 'yung tawa niya at ako lang daw ang nakakarinig nung tawa niyang parang elepante, kasi she trusts me. Pero ngayon, nakikita ko na ulit 'yung tawa niya, 'yung tawang sinasabi niya na pangit pero para sa'kin napakaganda, kaso nga lang, hindi lang ako nakaririnig.

She looked happier. She looked way happier than when she was with me.

"Excuse me lang," I said and quickly turned away from them. I walked as fast as I could to the exit. I wasn't going to cry. Not again.

Paglabas ko, napahawak ako sa may railings. I could feel it, my eyes were heating up and I tried with all my might to stop the tears from falling. I looked up. 'Yung langit, walang mga bituin. Napaka-plain. Kahit 'yung langit, malungkot.

"Daks?"

Oh no. Slowly, trying my best not to stumble, I turned around.

As soon as I caught sight of Mika's worried face, my eyes immediately betrayed me. Wala na, ayan na mga luha ko. Am I seriously crying in front of Mika?

Instead of asking why I was crying, she walked towards the railings and said nothing.

Pinunasan ko 'yung mga luha ko at pinatong elbows ko sa may railings.

"Balik ka na kay Jerome," I said dismally.

"Big boy na 'yun, kaya niya na sarili niya."

"I'm serious, Mika. Don't mind me."

Napatingin sa'kin si Mika. "Bakit 'di mo na ako tinatawag na Daks? Ako na lang tumatawag sa'yo nun."

I looked at her. "Daks, balik ka na dun," I said, emphasizing the Daks.

"Hmp, parang kulang e."

I sighed. "Anong kulang?"

Mika smiled. "Naalala mo pa ba nung college tayo? Anong palaging kasunod 'pag tinatawag mo 'kong Daks?"

"Kain na?"

Mika laughed and shook her head. "Nope."

"Miss na kita?"

Again, she shook her head.

Then, it hit me. "I love you?"

She didn't shake her head anymore.

I looked away. Pakyu, Mika Reyes. Pakyu with all my heart.

"Do you still love me, Daks?" Mika asked. Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. "Is that the reason why you broke up with Bang?"

I didn't answer her. 'Di pa rin ako tumitingin sa kanya. I let her answer her own questions.

"Oh God--I'm, I'm so sorry, Daks. I really am." She put her palm on my shoulder. "B-But you've got to let go."

Of course she'd say that. Nag-let go na siya years ago. She's moved on from me. Bakit parang ang dali lang para sa kanya? Parang in a blink of an eye, biglang masaya na ulit siya sa piling ng iba. Ganun ba talaga ako kadali ipagpalit? Kasi kahit nung may iba na akong nahanap, siya pa rin e.

She let go of her palm on my shoulder and I heard her walking away.

"Are you happier?" I blurted out. I didn't know why I just said that, but I did. The situation's not getting any worse, anyway.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

Sa sinabi niyang 'yun, alam ko na agad 'yung sagot. I turned around and faced her with all my might. "Yes, Mika. Please."

I wanted her to hurt me. I wanted her to make me numb. Para maka-move on na rin ako sa kanya.

"Yes, Ara. I'm happier now."

She said it as if it was easy to say. Maybe it was.

Then, she turned around and entered the cafe again without any hint of hesitation.

The way she said it hurt like hell. She was so certain. Napahawak ulit ako sa may railings, trying my best not to pass out. When I felt like I was ready to walk, I walked towards my car and drove all the way home.

Now, I had a reason to let go.